Great gift idea for Christmas

Yes, I know it's only the beginning of November, but once the evenings start getting dark I can't help but get excited about Christmas! And I've recently discovered some great books for children which have been released this year by Christian Focus. They are part of a series of short Christian biographies written in a style that is accessible to children.

We bought the book about Helen Roseveare for our oldest daughter (age 4) and she loves it. It retells an incident from Helen Roseveare's time as a missionary when she was looking after a very sick baby. It is easy for a child to understand and gives a great insight into the power of prayer. There are currently six books available in the series including George Muller, Corrie Ten Boom and Hudson Taylor. The Christian Focus website has them in the 8-12 category, but I think they are probably best for a bit younger than that. Check them out here and start your Christmas shopping early!

9Marks Family & Parenting E-News

The latest e-newsletter from 9Marks is available with some reviews and articles on Family and Parenting. You can download the whole thing on PDF here or follow these links:

• Wanted: Kingdom Families
• Why Families Matter to God
• How Families Minister to the Church & the World
• Raising Boys vs Raising Girls
• Learning to Multiply
• 39 Lessons, 20 Tips & 10 "Don'ts" for Parenting
• Favourite Children's Bibles

• Book Review: Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham Jr
• Book Review: Practicing Hospitality by Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock
  

Planning for the Holidays

CJ Mahaney plans for his vacation in a way that most of us would not think of. He says:

I thought it might be helpful if I passed along seven lessons I’ve learned over the years, in hopes that your family vacation will be a God-glorifying, grace-filled, relationship-building, memory-making time together.

Here's his 7 lessons of which you can read about the first 2 here.

1. A Servant Heart
2. A Tone-Setting Attitude
3. An Awareness of Indwelling Sin
4. Studying Your Family
5. Skillful Surprises
6. Intentionally Together
7. Gratefulness to God

Magnifying God & Money

Yesterday I asked how I might instill in my son a healthy understanding of money and spending and bring him up in such a way that he finds it more rewarding to give than to receive. Here are my thoughts on how we might magnify God when teaching our children about money.

1. Teach your children to love Christ more than anything else by loving Christ more than anything else.

2. Teach your children that every good thing comes from God and not because Daddy has a job.

3. Teach your children that Daddy has a job because God has given him a job.

4. Teach your children to be thankful for all that they have by being thankful for all that you have.

5. Continually thank God with your children for all that you have.

6. Continually thank God with your children for all that you do not have because Christ is better by far.

7. Pray with your children for those who do not have.

8. Give to those who do not have.

9. Teach your children to be good stewards by looking after property, clothes and toys.

10. Teach them not to worry about what they will eat or wear by trusting God for all that you need.

11. Don't spend what you do not have.

12. Share what you do have.

Anymore???

John Piper has a helpful sermon on Luke 12: 32-34, Magnifying God with Money.

32 Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Here are his main points from the sermon:

1. Do not fear when it comes to money & things

2. Have an impulse toward simplicity rather than accumulation

3. Maximise your treasure in Heaven, not on earth

4. Your heart moves toward what you cherish

Teaching Kids about Money

I'm not sure about any of your experiences with kids and money but this is an area that I have given scant thought to. However, last week I found myself confronted with this issue and it has forced me to think about how I should teach my kids about money and spending. I decided to take my 4 year old on a shopping trip, just the two of us (without the girls) and hoped that we could spend (pardon the pun) some mummy and son time together getting in the groceries for the week and picking out a few other clothing items since Scotland is at last seeing some sunshine.

My son was excited at the prospect of getting pretty much undivided time with his mum and decided to make the most of it! It is not an exaggeration to say that every 2 minutes we spent in the shop my son would exclaim: 'Can I have this?' Normally this is reserved until we get to that dreaded part in the store where there are a few shelves of toys and books. But this time it was every aisle! He wanted specific kinds of yoghurts, fruit, crisps, sweets, drinks and even when we got to the clothes section he had a paddy (tantrum) when I declined to buy him the new pair of pj's he wanted with the picture of the sports car. I've never experienced anything like it. All of a sudden my son has turned into a shoppaholic and no amount of 'we don't have any money to buy that' or 'you'll need to save up some pennies for that' or 'perhaps this is something that you can get for your birthday' did not cut it with him. So, my big question is: how can I instill in my son a healthy understanding of money and spending and bring up a boy who is more concerned to give than receive?

I have a few ideas. Crosswalk also have their 10 Tips for Teaching Kids about Money. Any more suggestions?

Single in Christ

Continuing our discussion on singleness, John Piper preached this sermon last week which I have found challenging as someone who is married with children. There are many times when I find myself idolizing my marriage and family life. I needed to be reminded once again that these things are temporary and that my relationship with Christ defines the value of my life. To be in Christ is to have God's best, it is not his gift of a husband and children.

The following is an excerpt from the sermon of which I encourage you, whether single or married, to listen to and gain wisdom.

My main point is that God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children, and he calls you to display, by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness, the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage and childrearing. The truths, namely,

1. That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;¹
2. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case);
3. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
4. That faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

To say the main point more briefly: God promises spectacular blessings to those of you who remain single in Christ, and he gives you an extraordinary calling for your life. To be single in Christ is, therefore, not a falling short of God’s best, but a path of Christ-exalting, covenant-keeping obedience that many are called to walk.

If you don't have time to listen to all the sermon, here's a 5 minute excerpt:

Holiday Breaks?

I'm just back from enjoying a week's break with the family and friends up in the north of Scotland. It's our first holiday away for over a year (due to Grace's birth and a house move) and so we were well overdue some getaway time. Our time away was enhanced by good company, great conversation, beautiful scenery, marvellous food and some gorgeous walks to compensate for the amount of marvellous food we consumed. Despite all of us enduring a tummy and sick bug, we had a well worthwhile break.

My husband and I tend to do alot of thinking and processing of 'stuff' when we're away together, and like him, my experience of going away on holiday can be a challenging time also. Despite benefitting from being away, there are times when I feel that holidays don't do for me what they should. Colin jotted down a few thoughts on why a Pastor struggles to relax on holiday, but here are a few things which, as a wife and mother of 3, I find myself battling against. Do any of these things resonate with you? If so, what do you do to overcome them?

1. The pre-holiday washing, ironing and packing of clothes as well as organinsing the other 101 things you need to take with you can not only be very draining but stresses me out no end and makes me horribly irritable.

2. On the way there is a sense of relief and anticipation, though regret at the state in which you left the house and the things that you forgot to bring.

3. The need to bring structure (because that's how it is) to what should be an easy-going unstructured time away.

4. Continuing with the mundane tasks of feeding, bathing, cleaning up after the children and generally feeling that you aren't really getting a break at all.

5. Frustrated with knowing that your husband is also struggling to relax.

6. Frustrated that the kid's behaviour is worse than usual.

7. Frustrated that someone, if not more than one, fall ill.

8. Wondering what's happening back at home with church, family and friends.

9. Dreading the holiday ending, knowing that your husband will be going back to work.

10. Feeling the need to get back to normal and almost wishing you were back home.

11. Dreading going home to the pigsty that you left.

12. The prospect of a suitcase load of washing and ironing.

13. Coming home just as tired as you left.

I would add, that on this holiday we stayed with friends who more than helped with entertaining the kids, cooking and washing. In addition, my parents popped round to our house while we were away and did some necessary cleaning for us - a great surprise when we arrived home!

As Good as Guests

Yesterday we considered how we often tend to think about hospitality beginning with those outside our homes rather than starting with our own families. I was really challenged by this and as I began to read on, the authors of Practicing Hospitality have some good suggestions on how we can practice good hospitality with our families.

At this stage in our family life, my kids enjoy having people around to our house for lunch, dinner or just a general get-together on a weekend. However, this is something that I never want to take for granted with my kids. I recognise that there may come a day (and I remember those days when I was young and at home) when this might not be the case. One thing I want to work hard to prevent is any form of resentment, or feelings of "second best" in the lives of my children. This book offers some sound wisdom on this issue and encourages me to treat my family "as good as guests", if not better than.

Often we treat our guests better than our family. Establishing the habit of treating our family as we would a guest will assist us in communicating our love to our family. Extending hospitality to our family allows them to reap the same blessings our guests receive in our home. Also, we are modeling for our children how to honour guests - they learn from our example. Treating our family as guests also reinforces the concept of family first.

Ennis & Tatlock then go on to offer 6 ways in which we can achieve this:

1. Prepare their favourite foods.
2. Set the table.
3. Check your appearance!
4. Create a warm atmosphere
5. Screen your phone calls.
6. Plan special events.

These six things have become second nature for me when it comes to being hospitable with those outside my home. However, I must confess that I am far from making these a priority when it comes to my husband and children. I'm left humbled thinking about the last time I made my husband and son my home cooked lasagna (their favourite), or the last time we went beyond the mere knife & fork and kid plates at dinner time. Or what about taking time to brush my hair and change that top that the baby spat up on before my husband gets home?

I can't even remember the last time I bothered to light a candle when sitting down for a meal - and hey, the kids always think that's fun because they get to blow it out at the end! And how many times am I quick to jump up and answer the phone, and proceed to engage in a conversation with someone other than my family? I must confess, I'm alright at planning special events, yet even at that it's only limited to a birthday, anniversary or some holiday celebration. Wouldn't it be fun to plan a special fun dinner just for no other reason than to see the joy and excitement on the the faces of my kids?

If I love my family more than any other, I must treat them better, if not as good as any other.

Hospitality & Family

I'm reading Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others at the moment. It's full of gems and insight. Here's a few words that have challenged me.

While the ministry of hospitality often focuses on those outside our home, it should begin within our home. If this occurs, generosity and kindness extended to others become an extension of our family hospitality...

If the Lord has given us a family, extending hospitality to our family is our first priority.. Hospitality towards others then becomes a natural ouworking or extension of what we are already practicing within our own homes.

Why is this important? The authors, Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock explain:

• For the sake of our integrity. Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can result in violating our God-given priorities-loving our husbands and children....To model hospitality to the world and neglect to practice it in our own home is hypocrisy, and our integrity is compromised.
• For the sake of our children. Neglecting to include our children in hospitality opportunities might create resentment in them. If our children feel unloved, abandoned, or ignored while we diligently extend hospitality to friends and strangers, we have opened the door for developing bitterness and animosity toward hospitality in our children...How tragic for our children to loathe hospitality because they have felt a lack of care while we ministered to others.
• For the sake of the gospel. Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can discredit our witness....The manner in which we serve and love our family should reflect the transforming power of the gospel in our own life.

Parents by God's Providence

I thought I’d give you a little taster of the second book in the Puritan reading challenge, The Mystery of Providence by John Flavel. So far this book has proved a really excellent read and I want to particularly mention a section he includes on God’s providential hand in placing us within our family. I hope that parents and children alike will be challenged and encouraged. I am eternally grateful to God for my parents; the following are 3 reasons from Flavel to give thanks:

1. The blessing of parents who prayed for you before you were born as well as in your infancy when you couldn’t pray for yourself.

2. The blessing of having excrescences of corruption nipped in the bud by their pious and careful discipline.

3. The blessing of parents who carefully instilled the good knowledge of God into your soul in your tender years.

As they longed for us before they had us and rejoiced in us when they had us, so they could not endure to think that when they could have us no more, the devil should. As they thought no pains, care or cost too much for our bodies, to feed them, clothe and heal them; so did they think no prayers, counsels, or tears, too much for our souls, that they might be saved. They knew a parting time would come between them and us, and did strive to make it as easy and comfortable to them as they could, by leaving us in Christ and within the blessed bond of His covenant.

A closing challenge:

And was it not a special favour to us to have parents that went before us as patterns of holiness, and beat the path to heaven for us by their examples? They could say to us: ‘those things ye have heard and seen in me, do’ (Phil. 4. 9); and ‘be ye followers of me, as also I am of Christ’ (1 Cor. 11. 1). The parents’ life is the child’s copy.

The Centrality of the Home

My husband and I listened to this talk by Voddie Baucham the other day over dinner. Although the talk was delivered to pastors, it more than applies to anyone seeking to honour God in their families. Here are a couple of sobering thoughts (haphasard notes really!) that challenged us.

1. Do we honour Christian mothers and the children they have? How often do we make fun of the woman who comes in with 4 or more children to our church? As Christians are we more influenced by society around us? Are we more concerned with getting the right house, securing the right amount of money before we have children? Do we see children as a comodity, do we have them because it is the done thing to do? Even when (and if) we do start a family, is it a case of "a boy for me, a girl for you and praise the lord we're finally through?" Is it a matter of "only when we have two of the same sex that we might try for a third?"

What does this say about our view of children? Do we see them as a blessing from the Lord? What does it say about what will happen to our Christian population compared with Muslim families who have 5 and 6 children? Our birthrate is below replacement rate, we are not having enough children for our culture to survive. We want more souls in the kingdom as long as we don't have to birth them, raise them and feed them.

2. Do we have a Biblical view of youth ministry? Over the last 30 years we have seen the greatest increase in youth workers, but our youth ministry vision can be unbiblical, working against what we find the Scriptures teaching us. Why? We do not see the centrality of the home for the evangelism and discipleship of children and young people. Any youth ministry statement must include the role of parents and any youth minister must purely exist to assist Christian parents in the evangelisation and discipleship of their children. Parents job, not youth pastors job. We need to teach parents how to teach their children. If there is a deficiency in the church when it comes to giving, we teach the church to give. Why do we not teach Fathers (and mothers) how to teach their children when so many of us are deficient when it comes to raising our children biblically?

3. Adopt a biblical view of church leadership - any church elder or pastor must manage their household well, Titus 1 makes this clear. Do we place too much emphasis on the requirement of leaders not to be drinking and not about how they raise their children in the faith? Not drinking is easy unless you are an alcoholic, yet what are our expectations of the second requirement? Do we raise one command and lower the other? Men are not worthy of being pastors/leaders if they are not raising their children biblically. Pastors need to be exemplary husbands and fathers.

Apologies for the rambled notes, you're better off listening to the talk here!

Worship & Family

I've found this article helpful since our oldest son (4) has been participating with us in our church services. It is a timely reminder as our 2 year old will do the same, not too long from now. Here's a snippet, but all of it is worth reading.

The greatest stumbling block for children in worship is that their parents do not cherish the hour. Children can feel the difference between duty and delight. Therefore, the first and most important job of a parent is to fall in love with the worship of God. You can't impart what you don't possess....

Sunday worship service is not useless to children just because much of it goes over their heads. They can and will grow into this new language faster than we think—if positive and happy attitudes are fostered by the parents.

Remotely Controlled

I received an email yesterday telling me about a new book that has been published entitled "Remotely Controlled - How television is damaging our lives and what we can do about it". The blurb advertising the book makes for sobering reading and it set me off thinking about the whole issue of television and the Christian woman.

Before I go on, I should say that we do have a TV and we do watch it, but over the past year, I have been watching it less and less and I can honestly say I don't miss it!

It struck me that in the different seasons of life we are all at risk of frittering away our time watching TV. As a student, it is all too easy to spend our free time getting to know the latest soap characters rather than our course subjects. As a working woman, who hasn't flopped down in front of the TV in the evening and spent several hours viewing to "unwind"? If we are full-time at home, daytime television can easily distract us from the mounting household chores, and if we have children we can employ the TV for a spot of child care. In later years, the television may be a source of company or comfort if we are less able to get out than we used to be.

The issue of children and television watching is one that has been the subject of quite a bit of research. I did a PubMed search (searching the medical literature) and there are a number of studies linking the amount of television watched and childhood obesity. A study published last year in the journal Pediatrics showed that:

Time spent viewing television both with and without parents and siblings present was strongly negatively related to time spent interacting with parents or siblings. Television viewing was associated with decreased homework time and decreased time in creative play.

Also, several studies looked at the impact of having a TV in children's bedrooms. A German research group found an association in some children between an impairment in expressive language and having a television in their bedroom. Furthermore, parents tend to under-estimate the amount of TV their children are watching if they have a television in their bedroom.

My database searching also had implications for all of us ladies, whether or not we have children. A paper in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that sedentary pastimes, and especially TV watching, increased the risk of obesity and Type 2 Diabetes in the women studied.

So it's pretty clear that for adults and children alike, there are health implications to watching too much TV. However, the effects on our spiritual health are even more profound.

The television usually offers a worldview which is at odds with the one we embrace as Christians and yet often, we switch on our sets and switch off our brains, subconsciously absorbing whatever philosophies are on offer. Also, watching television is a tremendous thief of time. Can we honestly say that the programmes we watch glorify God and make us more Christ-like? As John Piper says in his excellent devotional book Taste and See,

Time is precious. We are fragile. Life is short. Eternity is long. Shall we not then enter on every venture with a vigilance like that of the young Jonathan Edwards when he wrote his fifth resolution: "Resolved, Never to lose one moment of time, but to improve it in the most profitable way I possibly can".

As I finish, let me just say that I do think this is a matter of conscience for the individual believer. I certainly don't want to make you feel bad for allowing your children (or yourself) to watch some TV. In fact, letting my oldest daughter watch "VeggieTales" is the only way I can spend time reading the Bible just now as my 5 month old keeps me up so late! That said, I have been challenged to re-evaluate my attitude towards television and maybe at the start of another year you would be willing to do the same.

Christmas Conversations

Last Friday night Catriona and I headed out with our hubby's for a meal together. We had a great night, good company and good chat. The usual conversation ensued about how we would spend our respective Christmas days. This developed into a discussion on how it can sometimes be difficult to make good conversation with family members and friends who are generally only seen at Christmas, particularly if they are unbelievers. Yesterday, Justin Taylor linked to Donald Whitney's site, Spiritual Disciplines, where he offers 10 practical questions to get the conversation flowing. Whitney writes:

"Here's a list of questions designed not only to kindle a conversation in almost any Christmas situation, but also to take the dialogue gradually to a deeper level. Use them in a private conversation or as a group exercise, with believers or unbelievers, with strangers or with family.

1. What's the best thing that's happened to you since last Christmas?
2. What was your best Christmas ever? Why?
3. What's the most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received?
4. What was the most appreciated Christmas gift you've ever given?
5. What was your favorite Christmas tradition as a child?
6. What is your favorite Christmas tradition now?
7. What do you do to try to keep Christ in Christmas?
8. Why do you think people started celebrating the birth of Jesus?
9. Do you think the birth of Jesus deserves such a nearly worldwide celebration?
10. Why do you think Jesus came to earth?"

May your Christmas conversation be fruitful, a blessing and glorifying to the Saviour.

Jesse Tree

Catriona posted on Friday about Christmas traditions and invited our readers to let us know of any Christmas tradtions they have. Today I learnt of one such tradition that I never knew about. Jesse Trees.

The Jesse Tree is named from Isaiah 11:1: "A shoot will spring forth from the stump of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots." It is a way to tell the story of God in the Old Testament, and to connect the Advent Season with the faithfulness of God across 4,000 years of history.

Amanda, one of our readers wrote:

Every day in Advent we hang a symbol on the tree and run through the bible story from creation (sun), the fall (apple) and the flood (rainbow) right up to the birth of Christ (manger scene) with lots in between... The kids love to hang up the decorations and we use them to help them to learn a simple bible overview.

This is a fantastic idea. Amanda mentions that she uses the Jesse Tree pattern from Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent & Barbara Hughes. However, there are lots of ideas on the web - here is one site I found giving all the information you need to know.

Christmas Traditions

Eilidh (rhymes with "daily", for the benefit of the non-Scots!) and I went on one of our regular trips to the local library today, and as well as picking up story books, I browsed in the home crafts section and borrowed a couple of books for myself. One was called Creative Christmas Crafts, which contains lots of ideas for Christmas-related craft projects, and the second was Mrs Beeton's Traditional Christmas. This also has some craft ideas but it caught my eye because of the recipe for chocolate ganache truffles. Every year for as long as I can remember, my Mum has made trays of sweets for family and neighbours each Christmas. This year we have decided to include Eilidh as well and continue the tradition to the next generation. I'm delighted as I have convinced Mum to make tablet (one of my all time favourites!) and we will certainly give Mrs Beeton's chocolate truffles a whirl. There may be none left for anyone else!

Christmas is a great time of year for family traditions and these can be a great tool to point our hearts and our children's hearts towards Christ. In her book Treasuring God in our Traditions, Noel Piper writes:

Only God can give our children a taste for his sweetness. Only God can awaken them to his worth. But he uses means. He uses God-centred traditions and Bible-saturated family patterns and grace-laden heirlooms. Year in and year out our traditions can show children that God is our Treasure. With family traditions rooted firmly in the Bible, the next generation absorbs the truth that the treasure we have in God is ancient in wisdom and strength - and fresh as the morning dew.

In her chapter on Christmas, she states:

Christmas is only one small part of a whole year of living, working and ministering in our churches and to our neighbours, of meeting our family's physical needs, of teaching our children. Just one small part of the year - but with our hearts and spirits open in anticipation and excitement, what an ideal opportunity for remembering and teaching.

You can listen to a radio interview with Noel Piper here where she talks about Christmas traditions and how we can set the right tone in our homes.

Maybe you would like to start some traditions this year with your own children, or children in your family. Scripture Union's website has some great ideas for crafts to help children focus on the Christmas story. Or pull out your recipe books and make some Christmas treats for your friends and neighbours.

We'd love to hear about your Christmas traditions too, so why not send us some comments!

What's Your Child Worth?

Yesterday, Tim Challies' post entitled An Exhibitionist and Voyeuristic Culture, commented on an article in which radio listeners were calling in to take up the opportunity to give up their child for 24 hours in order to get a hold of a new Playstation 3.

The article recounts the radio's practical joke, or as they saw it, a "social experiment" asking "folks if they were willing to give up their baby for 24 hours in exchange for one of Sony's highly coveted video game consoles. More than a dozen people called to offer up their kids, but only a few realized it was all just a gag." Sadly, "people with babies of all ages — including a 2-day-old and a 1-week-old — made it on air. One of the more serious sounding calls came from a woman named "Katie," who agreed to give up her 1-month-old for three days. She wanted to sell the PS3 on eBay to make some extra money for the holidays."

Challies in his post goes onto helpfully comment on this sickening behaviour:

This is the kind of behavior that is only too common in our culture. We live in what is now an voyeuristic, exploitative society. We love to see into other people's lives and because of technology, this is easier to do than ever before. But there is more. As voyeurism has increased, so has exhibitionism. Countless numbers of people are willing to sell their bodies, souls or children for a fleeting fifteen minutes of fame and a ten thousand dollar paycheck. From world famous celebrities to absolute nobodies, we yearn to be noticed and have been only too willing to sell ourselves. Humiliation is marketed on television and a blurb in People magazine has become adequate payment for having personal problems brought before the world.

We, the consumers, feed this frenzy. When we turn on the television we want to watch celebrities, both new and old, living out their lives before the cameras or learning to dance or cook or crochet. We want to watch families whose spending has spiralled out of control try to fix their broken finances. We want to watch families whose kids are overweight learn how to eat healthy food or adults who are fat lose weight or couples who have forgotten the joys of sex to rediscover intimacy or normal people slurp down blood, guts and bugs. We want to see people learn what not to wear, to see people with rolls on their stomachs get liposuction and funny-looking noses get the perfect Hollywood nose job. We want to escape our own problems by wallowing in other people's problems which somehow always seem so much worse than our own. We want to see the sad, pathetic, tragic details of their lives, their personalities, their bodies. The more detail we get, the happier we are.

Back in March a web site made public a memo from ABC dealing with the hit show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." Looking to cast a new season, the show's producers asked network affiliates to look for families who could be on the show. Their wishlist is nauseating.

"We are open to any and ALL story ideas and are especially looking for the following:

• Extraordinary Mom/Dad recently diagnosed with ALSFamily who has child with PROGERIA (aka "little old man disease").
• Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis, referred to as CIPA by the few people who know about it. (There are 17 known cases in the the U.S.-let me know if one is in your town!) This is where kids cannot feel any physical pain.
• Muscular Dystrophy Child - Amazing kid who is changing people's views about MD.MADD
• Drunk Driving - Family turns tragedy into triumph after a losing a child to drunk driving.
• Family who has multiple children with Down Syndrome (either adopted or biological).
• Amazing loved Mom or dad diagnosed with melanoma (skin cancer).
• Home Invasion - family robbed, house messed up (vandalized) - kids fear safety in their home now.
• Victims of hate crime in own home. Family's house victim of arson or severely vandalized."

It is clear that the show was not seeking these people primarily because they are the most worthy of help, but because they make the best stories. The worse the tragedy, the better the entertainment value...

...Reality is no longer reality. Fame is no longer fame. Reality television offers anything but reality, and yet we are drawn to it. The internet offers fleeting, exploitative fame. It is escapism and exploitation. Somehow, it seems, we have come to care about other people's lives more than our own. We invest ourselves in other people's problems, other people's joys, hurts and pains all the while ignoring our own. We escape from our own lives by caring about other people's.

When a radio station offers to trade children for a Playstation 3, it does not surprise me that people are willing to accept the offer. We live in a strange new reality where tragedy can reap generous monetary rewards and personal problems can be marketed and sold. And even if there is no financial compensation, fleeting fame seems an adequate reward for exposing even the most humiliating, intimate details. We live in a society where it makes perfect sense to give up a child for 24 hours in order to get a hold of a new playstation.

But before we get too self-righteous and say that we would never hand over our kids to strangers for material gain, the thought did occur to me that we could all make subtle, yet similar transactions. It's all too easy to allow our possessions (and more so our striving for them) to come between us and our children.

Consider the parent who is always working that extra hour to make that little bit more "for the sake of kids," but who ends up losing out on valuable family time. Or the mum at home: so intent on keeping the family abode just right, making luscious meals for the household, but at the expense of giving significant focus to her children.

It is not that good housekeeping and providing for our family is wrong, they just need to have their place. Against all our material possessions, it's a good question to keep at the forefront of our minds: what's my child worth?

Educating for Hope

We had the second meeting of our MuMS group on Tuesday night where we listened to the talk Education for Hope, the second talk in the series Raising children who hope in the triumph of God from Desiring God ministries. You can listen to the talk here.

Piper bases his talk around Psalm 78:1-8, where Asaph introduces his Psalm recounting the history of Israel and God's faithfulness to them. Piper splits the talk into three headings: God's work, Asaph's act and God's aim.

Piper explains that God has given us a testimony that we can look to in educating our children about him, namely his law. Yet how often do we as parents look everywhere else for advice on bringing up our children instead of examining what God says in his word or going to him in prayer?

Aspah acted on God's command to tell future generations about him by writing this psalm; in the psalm, he focuses on the deeds of God before the commands of God and Piper urges us to impart to our chidren a true and full picture of who God is so that they can understand who they are to obey.

Finally, the aims of this education that Asaph is continuing are to impart knowledge of God so that our children can love him, to encourage our children to put their hope in God and to result in our children obeying God's commands.

The need for us to help our children to obey God was brought home to me afresh yesterday morning as I read Spurgeon's commentary on 1 Samuel 15:22 in Morning and Evening. Here Samuel is reprimanding Saul who has disobeyed the express command of God. He says "Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to listen than the fat of rams."

Spurgeon states: "Be it ever in your remembrance, that to keep strictly in the path of your Saviour's command is better than any outward form of religion; and to hearken to his precept with an attentive ear is better than to bring the fat of rams, or any other precious thing to lay upon his altar. If you are failing to keep the least of Christ's commands to his disciples, I pray you be disobedient no longer. All the pretensions you make of attachment to your Master, and all the devout actions which you may perform, are no recompense for disobedience."

We must teach our children about God so that they can grasp the full glory of his character and understand who it is that demands their obedience.

People with a Special Calling

This month in Evangelicals Now there is an article by Jacqui Wright called Christian Single Parents: People with a Special Calling. It looks at the different phases in family life: crisis; survival; setbacks; stability and service, before describing what it's like being a Christian Single Parent. For those of us who don't find ourselves in this position, ponder these words:

"Christian single parents are real people living in a real broken world who have to face the consequences of the brokenness, for themselves and their children. The majority are unwilling divorcees having to deal with a Christian spouse’s wrong choices and actions. Others are widowed or were unmarried. But the reality of Christian single parenting is the same for all. It is a hard task for we are not ‘Superdad’ or ‘Supermum’, but weak and frail human beings with needs and desires, like everyone else.

Often we are caught in between two groups in the church: married people raising children, who do not face the unique problems we do, and single people, who may never have married and do not fully understand child rearing. So we are a ‘parent’, but not married, and we are ‘single’, but not footloose and fancy free. Christian single parents, and their children, need non-judgemental understanding and support from both sides: the married parents and the singles without children, and from the whole church family. Most of all, they need unconditional love and acceptance."

You can read the rest of the article here.

What Makes a Strong Family?

The Family Room is a recent initiative of Covenant Life Church, (where Joshua Harris is the Senior Pastor) to equip its members to build God-glorifying marriages and familes. Their tag
line is: "Because strong families don't just happen." The Family Room has a blog, where those who are not immediate beneficiaries of the ministry can log on and listen to talks given each month. Last night I listened to the first of their talks: What Makes a Strong Family? Three things were mentioned:

1. A strong family finds purpose in God (Eph 3:14).
2. A strong family finds hope in the Gospel (1 Cor 15:3-4).
3. A strong family finds a home in a local church (1 Cor 12:18)

However, what I took mostly from the message was the practical ideas that would help towards such a goal. One such tip is ordering a schedule. The idea behind this is that we are all naturally busy, but are we fruitful in our busyness? Are we busy doing the right things, or are we crowding out the important, essential things? Here is a list of essentials which need to take priority in our lives:

1. Meeting with God.
2. Date Night (spending uninterrupted time with our spouse).
3. Family Night (spending uninterrupted time with our children).
4. Training our sons and daughters.
5. Meeting with God's family.
6. Working diligently in the jobs that we have, either at home or in the workplace.

It is only then that we should find time for the other things in life, such as meeting friends, shopping, going to the dentist and other stuff. The lesson is that we must pre-determine when we shall do the important things as it won't always happen spontaneously. In order to do this, we should take 10-30 minutes at the beginning of the week to write down and plan our days. This is something that I don't do well, I certainly don't write down a plan for each week. I find myself going from week to week and day to day reminding myself in my head of the important things that need doing. Colin is better than me! He has a plan for the week ahead, and for each day! Catriona (my fellow blogger) has also informed me that this is something that she has started doing. I'm glad to say that both of them find this a very helpful exercise and something worth making the effort to do.

If you want to listen to the talk, click here. It is also worthwhile looking at the talk outline where it gives an example of someone's planning for the week and the application questions that go along with the talk.