What Makes for a Strong Women's Ministry?

This is the recent question posed over at CBMW. Brent Nelson writes:

Recently Sarah Flashing wrote an article asking, "Does ‘complementarian' equal anemic women's ministry?" Her answer was: yes, usually, but it needn't. After a brief anecdote regarding a conversation with a young woman on her bus-ride home, Flashing concludes,

"Holding to a complementarian view of the church and family does not necessitate that women's ministries focus primarily on social activities, discussions how to feed their families, or fill in the blank bible studies. There is room for young women...who want to bring solid methods of biblical interpretation and theological reflection to women's lives, and we can talk about more theological topics than just biblical womanhood, though we should certainly talk about that as well."

I applaud the direction Flashing takes in the article, save for a subtle contrast that could bode poorly. There wafts an air of chronological snobbery (to echo C.S. Lewis): "These are women who want to fulfill the Titus 2 mandate, to mentor and ministry to other women, who wan to play a significant role in Christian education, but also want to escape the culture of women's ministry that they inherited from their grandmothers."

There's a danger lurking here. First, what is it about their grandmothers' culture of women's ministry that must be escaped from just because it was two generations back? One could argue that since every generation must admit to its blind-spots, past generations could illumine our current blind-spots at least as well as we can illumine theirs.

Yet a second danger seems even more risky. Are those who reject their grandmothers' kind of women's ministry sure of what they reject? It is well that the Titus 2:3-5 mandate drives the current aims, but was it not held high 50 years ago by our godly grandmothers? Indeed, some who led women's ministries in the 1950's may have lived the scriptural ideals of ‘self-control, purity, working in the home and submission to their own husbands' far better than some today.

Those women who mean to glorify God by seeking to become theologically robust, spiritually sagacious, steadily joyful, biblically-surrendered and steeled in their faith dare not neglect the help available to them from Christians past.

Read further for Brent's book recommendation on how women can lead women.

Biblical Womanhood

This week at our church we are beginning a year long, once a month women's study on Biblical Womanhood. We'll be using Sarah Young's study to guide us as we explore what the bible says about,

• God's Creative Design for Women
• Women and the Fall
• Women and Marriage
• Women and Singleness
• Women and Beauty
• Women and the Family of God
• Women and their Brothers
• Women and their Sisters
• Women and their Lord

We like to encourage a little bit more reading besides the studies, so we're also compiling a resource file of books & articles to read and a list of good talks/sermons on the net. This week I've been scouting out some good articles and talks on God's design for women at creation. Here's a few articles and sermons (so far) I've found worth passing on.

• Gender Identity in Creation by Mark Dever
• Men & Women: Similarities & Differences by Wayne Grudem
• Man & Woman Before Sin by John Piper
• Male & Female He Created Them In the Image of God by John Piper
• The Order of Creation by RC Sproul
• Male-Female Equality & Male Headship by Ray Ortlund Jr
• Male & Female Complementarity & the Image of God by Bruce Ware

Helpful Resources

Over at Revive Our Hearts there are some useful resources available for downloading and printing. Here are some, but you can find more here.

• 10 Reasons You Can't Afford Not to be Hospitable
• A Call to Biblical Womanhood
• Biblical Portrait of Womanhood
• Men & Women: Similarities & Differences
• 10 Questions for Explore & Understand a Church
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Pastor
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Pastor's Wife
• Follow the Leaders
• 15 Ways to Please Your Husband
• 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband
• Personal "Hedges"
• Mirror Mirror On the Wall: The Decision to Live Your Life for God's Glory
• Sexual Purity
• 23 Great Questions to Ask Your Kids
• 12 Ways to Pray for Your Child's Future Mate
• 15 Ways to Make Prayer a Natural Part of Family Life
• 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children
• How's Your Love Life?

Becoming a Woman of Virtue

Are you a wise woman building your house? Or are you a foolish woman tearing it down with your hands? Use these questions to help evaluate yourself.

A Challenging Reminder for Women

A friend reminded me by email this morning of something I read a while ago - John Piper's Challenge to Women. Read it, better still, print it off and stick it in a place where you'll continually be able to revisit and be challenged by it. Here are Piper's 16 challenges:

1. That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.
2. That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.
3. That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven.
4. That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith. And that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.
5. That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world.
6. That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God undergirding all these spiritual processes, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things.
7. That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies, any more than men should fritter theirs away on excessive sports or aimless diddling in the garage. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.
8. That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.
9. That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.
10. That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give.
11. That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world. That you not only pose the question: Career vs. full time mom? But that you ask as seriously: Full time career vs. freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God's free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God's business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.
12. That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.
13. That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs.
14. That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative. That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.
15. That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God's ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about...

• The awesome significance of motherhood
• Complementing a man's life as his wife
• Ministries to the handicapped
• hearing impaired
• blind
• lame
• retarded
• Ministries to the sick:
• nursing
• physician
• hospice care—cancer, AIDS, etc.
• community health
• Ministries to the socially estranged:
• emotionally impaired
• recovering alcoholics
• recovering drug users
• escaping prostitutes
• abused children, women
• runaways, problem children
• orphans
• Prison ministries:
• women's prisons!
• families of prisoners
• rehabilitation to society
• Ministries to youth:
• teaching
• sponsoring
• open houses and recreation
• outings and trips
• counseling
• academic assistance
• Sports ministries:
• neighborhood teams
• church teams
• Therapeutic counseling:
• independent
• church based
• institutional
• Audio visual ministries:
• composition
• design
• production
• distribution
• Writing ministries:
• free lance
• curriculum development
• fiction
• non-fiction
• editing
• institutional communications
• journalistic skills for publications
• Teaching ministries:
• Sunday school: children, youth, students, women
• grade school
• high school
• college
• Music ministries:
• composition
• training
• performance
• voice
• choir
• instrumentalist
• Evangelistic ministries:
• personal witnessing
• Inter Varsity
• Campus Crusade
• Navigators
• Home Bible Studies
• outreach to children
• Visitation teams
• Counseling at meetings
• Billy Graham phone bank
• Radio and TV ministries:
• technical assistance
• writing
• announcing
• producing
• Theater and drama ministries:
• acting
• directing
• writing
• scheduling
• Social ministries:
• literacy
• pro-life
• pro-decency
• housing
• safety
• beautification
• Pastoral care assistance:
• visitation
• newcomer welcoming and assistance
• hospitality
• food and clothing and transportation
• Prayer ministries:
• praying!!!
• mobilizing for major Concerts of Prayer
• helping with small groups of prayer
• coordinating prayer chains
• promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils
• Missions:
• all of the above across cultures
• Support ministries:
• countless jobs that undergird major ministries

The Single Woman as Homemaker

Yesterday the Girltalk blog addressed the following question from a single woman regarding homemaking.

I honestly don't know what I'll do if I don't get married - being a stay-at-home-mom is all I've ever really desired to do as a "career"!....Do you have any encouragement for the single woman who desires to be a wife and mom, but...is not?

Read their response here.

Don't Try this at Home

None of us are being incredibly creative here at titus2talk these days. I guess that's due to the busy lives we are all leading. In saying that we've always got time to link you to some good listening or reading and if that serves you here at our blog, then we're happy with that!

So today's recommendation is a talk given by Carolyn McCulley called Don't Try this at Home: Feminism's Wide-Ranging Influence. I found it helpful as Carolyn not only offers some words of testimony about her own experience as a once-feminist-turned-Christian who clearly is passionate about biblical womanhood, but she also gives a good foundational talk on feminism itself and its far-reaching effects. So if that interests you I encourage you to take 40 minutes or so and have a listen here.

Watch Your Man!

We're married to sinners, right? There are times when we want our husbands to change for the better, right? There are times when we want to correct our husbands and all too often we go about it in the wrong way, right? I've just listened to this helpful talk from Carolyn Mahaney called Watch Your Man! You might want to listen in if you find yourself not going about this task of faithful, gentle correction with the respect and grace you should. Interested in finding out more? Here's the blurb and you can download the talk here.

Part of a wife’s biblical role is to bring faithful, gentle correction to her husband when necessary. True friends are willing to humbly correct one another, but if a wife does this poorly, she can damage her marriage.

In this seminar for women, Carolyn Mahaney explain’s a wife’s responsibility to lovingly watch over her husband. She gives biblical advice on questions such as how to correct in humility and love, when to forbear patiently, and when to prayerfully persist and appeal for change. Most important, Carolyn encourages wives to rely on God to change their husbands’ hearts and actions. It is God’s favor and approval—not change in their husbands—that wives must ultimately seek.

Two Quotes

I'm re-reading Susan Hunt and Ligon Duncan's book, Women's Ministry in the Local Church. It's a must read if you are seeking to set up a ministry for women in your church. I just want to leave you with two quotes which I believe are primary - the first which challenges our commitment to church in general; the second which challenges us to 'do' women's ministry in the context of the whole church.

"Dr Edmund Clowney wrote, 'If we lack interest in the church we lack what for Jesus was a consuming passion. Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for it'. (Ephesians 5:25)"

"Approach to women's ministry is not consumer-oriented ('we deserve a ministry that focuses on us'), but kingdom-oriented ('how can we invest in women in a way that equips them as disciples, for their own spiritual maturation, for the good of the marriages and families of the church, for the betterment of the total ministry of the church, and for their life in the real world?')"

Home-work

My husband has being doing a bit of home-work recently, listening to a few talks that focus on family life. He's listed a few good resources for guys, but here's a list of some of my home-work assignments, some completed, others I'm keen to give due attention.

Loving My Husband by Carolyn Mahaney
Loving My Children by Carolyn Mahaney
Celebrating Marital Love by Carolyn Mahaney
Wisdom for Women from Titus 2 by Susan Hunt
A Fresh Look at Titus 2 by Carolyn Mahaney
Sarah Edwards: Jonathan's Home & Haven by Noel Piper
Marriage: Forgiving & Forbearing by John Piper
Honouring the Biblical Call of Motherhood by John Piper
To Be A Mother is a Call to Suffer by John Piper
The Centrality of the Home by Voddie Baucham
Shepherding Your Child's Heart 0-5 by Tedd Tripp
A Wife's Responsibility to Help Her Husband by Barbara Hughes

I Want to be Like That!

How Do I Do this Mom Thing? is a good article focusing on the importance of mentoring, particularly addressing this kind of relationship for young mothers who 'want to be like that older, experienced mother'. There are practical ideas for how to go about finding a mentor and the kinds of things that would be important in such a relationship. So if you're interested in finding a mentor, or have a vision for starting this kind of ministry in the church, this article is a good, easy place to start on how to establish mentorship among younger and older women.

Fighting Bossiness

Noel Piper recently posted a great article on the Desiring God blog about fighting bossiness . This is something that I can certainly relate to and maybe you can too. She writes

I feel very comfortable telling people what to do, speaking as if I know what’s best. Others call it bossy. My fight for self-control in this area has two parts—reminding myself who God is and then preaching that to myself.

You can read the rest of her article here.

How To Ruin A Women's Ministry

Wendy Alsup at Resurgence has just posted on her four top ways to ruin a women's ministry in church. So if you are running a women's ministry, or thinking of starting one, here's some advice on what not to do:

1. Make women's ministry your first priority. I'm not saying to forget your
husband and kids. I'm just saying to think of them as less fulfilling than women's ministry. I had a time in my life when I would drive to church praying intently that the Lord would bless my ministry there, guard my words, and guide my responses. Then one day, the Holy Spirit convicted me that I never prayed the same as I drove toward my house. Women's ministry at church had assumed the place of God's Big Thing in my life. And yet I knew that my ministry to my husband and boys was even more important than my ministry at church. Why was I allowing myself to find fulfillment in one and drudgery in the other?

I think this is Satan's big tool in ministry at every level. I hear about it from church planters and pastors all the time. They get their priorities out of order and sacrifice family on the altar of ministry. I want to be used by God to further His kingdom--but I must always remember that my kingdom influence begins in my home. How can I be a help to my husband in his obligations? How can I minister to my boys? And, from there, how can I minister to those outside of my home in a way that is a blessing and not a burden to my family? Whose needs get sacrificed first? I must be willing to say NO to church things if they interfere with my God-given obligations toward my home.

2. Become territorial. If you are approached by church leadership about restructuring your current pet project, take it personally, resent the leader, and stealthily sow discord among your coworkers in the ministry.

This is SUCH a temptation. I've watched it happen in many ministries over the years. I'm thankful that our elders have done a good job of modeling the exact opposite response. I really got a vision for this as I read Pastor Mark's book, Confessions of a Reformission Rev. It showed me that our pastors are serious about reaching those who need Jesus in our city, and they are willing to step out of their comfort zone to do it. They have all had pet projects that have been sacrificed over the years because they simply weren't the best use of our limited resources. But they take it in stride because they love Jesus and value the mission to reach Seattle above their personal
interests.

I've had my fair share of opportunities for bitterness in ministry over the years. All were temptations to me to take it personally, wear hurt feelings on my shoulder, and project disunity about the ministry to others. Instead, I needed to respect God's sovereign right to administer such things as He saw fit. We women can be some of the worst at being territorial and tearing at each other when we feel our territory threatened. But be warned--this is how women's ministries are fractured and destroyed. And women who participate in such sowing of disunity, in my humble opinion, need to step aside from leadership until they get a grip on the importance of humility. You cannot lead without it!

3. Resent your God-given authority structure. Don't seek your elders' input ahead of time for a big decision in ministry and resent their concerns when expressed. And if your husband asks you to pull back from a ministry opportunity because it interferes with family responsibilities, make him feel your disapproval whenever possible.

In reality, our God-given authority and accountability structure is there for all of our good. Each elder, deacon, and lay leader at Mars Hill has an accountability structure in place for their good and God's glory. We all need someone who can tell us when our enthusiasm has run ahead of our good sense. This is hard to take when you have a vision for something big. But if you believe in God's good hand in directing such authority structures, you'll soon see the safety net they provide for each of us in leadership.

4. Ignore life issues or stages of life that you haven't experienced personally. We tend to identify and empathize with people that share similar backgrounds to us and therefore are burdened to equip people in the areas with which we have struggled. But will your ministry only minister to people like you? Are you even aware of the people in your sphere of influence whose background and struggles are different from yours?

My advice is to surround yourself with counselors at different stages of life from you. Our current women's ministry team has singles and marrieds, with and without kids, including a grandmother. Our team also has ladies from different ministry departments. One is involved with community groups and can speak to the issues raised in this ministry. Another is involved with our addiction recovery/redemption groups and raises issues concerning the struggles these members face. Another represents our counseling ministry and speaks to the issues she sees there. We've only just begun using this system but believe it will help us keep a well-rounded perspective of the needs of our women as a whole. There are women crushed under the weight of raising their kids sitting by women crushed because they just miscarried or can't get pregnant. There's the woman struggling because she feels abandoned by the men in her life, while another is trying to figure out how to deal with a husband she despises. There's the 65-year-old childless widow and the 65-year-old grandmother whose husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. Are you aware and responsive to the variety of forms women's suffering and struggles take?

The Complaint Cycle

Nancy Ann at Femina writes:

Certainly feminism illustrates for us the complaint cycle, but women of all persuasions do the same thing in a myriad of ways. It all begins with discontent. I think it is safe to assume that Eve had been content in the garden until the serpent made his evil suggestion. “Why don’t you get to eat from this tree?” Apparently, Eve had not felt deprived until that moment. The discontent is what set her up for the deception (aka, lie) that immediately followed. And she bit.

Women are far less vulnerable to deception when they are content. How many contented Christian women are apt to marry an unbeliever? No chance. But a discontented woman is more prone to rationalize and swallow the deceit. “Well, he went to church as a kid. And he’s not an atheist. And I prayed that if God didn’t want me to marry him, that He would take away my love for him, and He didn’t take it away, so I think that is a sign.” A contented spirit gives you a clear head and enables you to see the folly.

Read more

Questions for a Godly Wife

I came across a helpful set of questions from Daniel Phillips written for Christian women who desire to be godly wives. They deal with everything from your personal relationship with God, to your role as a wife, your desires and goals to the place of others in your marriage. If you're married take some time to go through thinking about these questions. If you're single, don't go, do the same, it's good preparation and learning for what may lie ahead.....

Here's one taster question to get you started and one that I think I'm going to be constantly asking!:

• "Do you handle disagreements in a respectful, God-honoring way? Do you respect your husband in your heart, in how you think of him (Prov. 4:23; cf. 1 Pet. 3:2, 5, 6 with Gen. 18:12 [i.e. Sarah thought of Abraham as "my lord" in her heart])? Do you imagine that a feigned outward formal respect, thinly veiling a bitter, resentful, belittling heart, is pleasing to God? Or can you dream that such an attitude will bear other than bitter fruit in your marriage (cf. Prov. 4:23; Matt. 15:18-20)? That being the case, do you duly respect your husband and his thinking? Do you approach differences with him cautiously and humbly in your thinking, or brashly and arrogantly? Do you give any prominence in your thinking to the possibility that you might be mistaken? Do you magnify your husband's strengths and godly traits — or do you exaggerate even tiny flaws and affronts (contra 1 Cor. 13:5b)? Do you give him the benefit of a doubt (1 Cor. 13:7), or do you "shoot first and ask questions later," or never? Do you "declare war" easily (contra 1 Cor. 13:5), or seldom or never (Eph. 4:2; Jas. 3:17)?"

A Women's Seasons

One of the main objections to the complementarian position surrounds the issue of women and teaching. There are many women who believe that they have teaching gifts and are called to teach in God's church. I've come up against so many objections to complementarianism because it simply doesn't allow a women to teach in church. This irritates me no end and to be brutal, it's complete rubbish. One of my convictions is that if every woman who believed they had a teaching gift sought to use it within the boundaries of what Scripture teaches we'd have a far healthier, well rounded church!

So what am I saying? Well, I don't see men jumping up and down, claiming discrimination and feeling that they can't use their teaching gifts when they read Titus 2:3-5. I don't hear them bemoaning the fact that Paul exclusively commands Titus to teach women to teach other women within the church. Sadly, if you asked many women in the church today about these verses they would be unaware of it's direct implication for women. Here is a clear command that women need to grasp and obey. We have a unique opportunity and responsibility to take seriously these words:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I do recognise that this mandate calls for more practical hands on teaching, but not exclusively. In our church over the last year or so we have believed it necessary to offer teaching seminars and small group teaching on issues of biblical womanhood - valuable instruction by women and for women.

I've just finished reading this superb article (HT: Radical Womanhood) by Susan Hunt who is a pastor’s wife, mother and grandmother, and director of Women’s Ministries for the Presbyterian Church in America. Her article, A Women's Seasons goes head to head with women and their preoccupation for rights and roles, laying down the gauntlet of Titus 2:3-5. Here's a snippet:

Let’s revisit Titus 2. This mandate is electrifying! Titus was pastoring a church on Crete in a pluralistic, decadent culture. Of all the things Paul could have told Titus to tell the women to do to combat that decadence, he bore down on the importance of older women encouraging and equipping younger women to live godly lives.

In recent years I have observed a troubling phenomenon. Many women of my generation have relinquished this high calling of nurturing younger women. Every where I go I meet young women who long for spiritual mothers.

My generation has abandoned this calling for many reasons. Some think they have nothing to offer. Some are intimidated by the intelligence and giftedness of the younger women. And some have decided this is the season to indulge themselves. I plead with my peers not to squander this season of your life. You have a perspective on life to share. Your sensibilities have been tempered by time. Your faith has been stretched and strengthened by your life-experiences.

I plead with the church to equip women for this ministry. God is gifting His church with incredible young women. They are a sacred trust; we must be good stewards. Many of them are first-generation Christians. Many are separated from their families because of the mobility of our society. We must teach them the truths of biblical womanhood. We must teach them how to pass on the faith to the next generation. The consequences of our accepting or abandoning this calling will reverberate through several generations.

Riding in Tandem

I've got myself involved in a lengthy discussion on another blog about the roles of men and women in the family and church. I hope at some stage to relay my thoughts on one of the questions that I was asked - "practically, what does leading and submitting look like in your marriage? Can you give three examples?" It's been a healthy discussion and no doubt it'll continue for a while!

Amid the discussion and the thought-provoking that has ensued, I remembered these fabulous musings from Noel Piper. Noel describes her musings as "random lessons," they are, in essence, thought provoking and full of wisdom as we seek to ride in the tandem of marriage. I posted this last year (I think) but it is well worth sharing again.

John & Noel Riding in Tandem

"Sunscreen on, helmets buckled, pedals in sync, and we were on our way. After a few minutes, Johnny called over his shoulder, “You’re doing pretty well for your first time on a tandem.” Without a thought, I replied: “I guess all these years of marriage have been good practice.”

Here are some random lessons learned last week riding along the Cannon Valley Trail behind my husband on a bicycle built for two:

• If I throw my weight around, we wobble and swerve.
• My initial “seasickness” eases when I quit resisting and let him lean the bike into curves and turns in the path.
• I often feel as if I’m not really adding much to the effort. But I must be doing my part, because if I lift my feet, he feels it and asks, “Are you still there?”
• My instinct is to press harder on the pedals to make sure I’m carrying my share of the load. But when I do, he says, “Slow down. Don’t push me so fast.”
• Looking over his shoulder, I can see a lot of what he sees, but not what’s immediately in front of us. Good thing he’s the one steering, braking, and changing gears. On the other hand, I’m more free to look around and point out the mile markers and the turtles basking on a log.
• I can’t brake or steer, but I do have the power to stop the bike and ruin the ride. If I stand still on the pedals and refuse to move, he can’t make them turn.
• I love it when we’re on level ground and using a gear that sets a slow, steady pedalling that surges us forward. But I need warning when he changes to a setting that requires fast foot strokes. When I’m caught off guard, my feet are slung from the pedals and it’s a trick to get them back in place without snarling the progress up a steep hill.
• When I realize I’m gripping the handlebars, I have to remind myself, “Let go! You’ve always wanted to ride ‘no hands.’ Now you can!”
• When I’m ready to turn back, he’s aiming for one more mile marker. When I’m ready to finish easy, he says, “Let’s see if we can beat our record.” With that kind of encouragement, I do what never would have happened if I’d been on my own.
• Near the end, when I see one more hill, I open my mouth to say, “Let me off. I’ll walk up.” Then I realize how foolish we’d look, me plodding alone and him trying to keep the bike going by himself. So I shut up and keep pedaling.
• And I discover that, when we pedal together, impossible inclines become possible.

Perhaps the 19th century songwriter was wiser than he knew when he created a marriage proposal that said, “You’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.” It makes me think of what Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."

Watch Your Priorities

I realise that posts are few and far between these days, it seems that blogging isn't much of a priority for us girls at the moment. However, what I would like to do over the next wee while is to point you to some talks, sermons or things I have read that you might be able to share in what I have found spiritually beneficial.

As my previous post mentioned, my husband and I are enjoying some talks free from Sovereign Grace Ministries. Last night I listened to an insightful panel discussion from their 2007 Leadership Conference, "Watch Your Priorities". In it, 5 "seasoned pastor's wives" answer questions on "duties, priorities and opportunities of being a pastor's wife."

Here are some of the questions they address as mentioned on their site:

• How can a wife order her priorities so that “the tyranny of the urgent” doesn’t dictate what gets done?
• What are purposeful ways to encourage husbands in their specific roles and duties as pastors?
• How can wives find time to read, and which books should they read in their limited time?
• How can wives care for their husbands personally, emotionally, and romantically, while still keeping up with other duties?
• What are some ways to disciple young sons and daughters?

And if you are wondering why I've posted in the middle of the night, one of my priorities is my 9 week old, Grace, and she is feeding!

To Live Again - Catherine Marshall

It’s sometimes surprising to discover, or in my case rediscover, an old book which speaks so clearly into our own times. At the moment I’m re-reading a copy of Catherine Marshall’s book "To live again" and have been struck by the appropriateness of a quote from one of her husband Peter’s sermons.

Peter Marshall, a young Scotsman who became chaplain of the U.S. senate, had an outstanding preaching ministry, which was cut short when he died at the age of 46. His widow Catherine subsequently put together a book of his sermons entitled "Mr Jones, Meet the Master". Catherine quotes from one of his most popular sermons, ‘Keepers of the Springs’;

The emancipation of womanhood began with Christianity and ends with Christianity…When women in this country achieved equality with men, it was accomplished only by stepping down from the pedestal on which Christianity, chivalry, and idealism had placed her… So she copied the vices of men – in the name of progress! It is not progress to go down in a downward direction. It is not progress to lower and to lose ideals!

No woman ever became lovelier by losing her essential femininity... America needs young women who will build true homes, whether they live in two rooms – or ten… whether starched white organdie curtains hang at the windows – or silk damask...We need homes where harassed husbands may find peace, understanding, refreshment of body and soul…Where children may find the warmth of love…Where friends may find hospitality, graciousness and joy.

Only out of such homes will go men with strength and courage to …build a new and better world. To make such homes is, therefore, any woman’s supreme contribution to her country and to her generation.

At times when we hear reports of young women falling into binge-drinking and other kinds of behaviour, which have usually been the territory of men, this is a timely reminder that compromising our God-given femininity is not for anyone’s benefit. Peter’s words speak volumes to today’s society, where the role of wife, mother and homemaker has become desperately under-valued. Many women, whether temporarily at home with children, or permanently so by choice, can find it hard to admit that they are not out in the workplace, with a job title, bringing home wages. Yet Catherine Marshall sums up her view like this;

There might well have been some conflict between Peter and me over his strong views on the role of women in marriage, had I not discovered early in our life together that putting these ideas into practice brought me joy and satisfaction at a deep level. Such non-feminist ideas meant that I was single-minded in the marriage relationship. I was not a divided personality, and no effort was made to channel any part of it in other directions. Nor was any of this hardship or a sacrifice…For I was discovering for myself during those years the profound truth of that ancient and inexorable law that “he who loseth his life shall find it”.

By celebrating and living out our God-given femininity, we are serving “the Master” in a way that pleases him and brings help and healing to a hurting world. Girls – let’s not be scared to be different!

Does Motherhood Mean Anything?

Today I want to simply commend to you yesterday's post from Al Mohler's blog. Mohler commented on varying newspaper reactions to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's observations concerning the capture of the Royal Navy's Leading Seaman Faye Turney, mother to a three year old daughter. Ahmadinejad commented:

"You will know that among the detainees there is one lady who is a mother of a child. Why is it that the most difficult work like patrolling at sea should be given to a woman? Why is there no respect for motherhood? Why does the West not value its women?"

As you can expect, such reactions come strong from the feminist camp, denouncing what Ahmadinejad said. However, Kathleen Parker's remarks in the Washington Post give us more to think about.

"On any given day, one isn't likely to find common cause with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He's a dangerous, lying, Holocaust- denying, Jew-hating cutthroat thug -- not to put too fine a point on it.

But he was dead-on when he wondered why a once-great power such as Britain sends mothers of toddlers to fight its battles."