Chopsticks

A couple of days ago one of our church missionaries who is home on furlough, spoke to us at our mothers group. She and her husband have served with Overseas Missionary Fellowship for 21 years and they spend much of their time travelling throughout South-east Asia. She gave us an insight into the work that she and her husband are involved in, and as she finished she urged us to pray for a number of issues. She used the analogy of a set of chopsticks: you can't pick up food with only one chopstick - you must use them both. Similarly, in the work of missions, you need both the missionary out in the field and people at home praying.

This got me thinking about how we can pray specifically for women we know who are serving overseas. I came up with a few ideas, but you may be able to think of more:

• Relationships are so important to women - pray that they will make good and lasting friendships in their cross-cultural situation.
• Pray for them as they carry out day to day tasks in a different culture, perhaps without the amenities we take for granted.
• Pray that they will be free from anxiety about health issues, particularly if they are in a situation where healthcare is poor and health screening is non-existent.
  
• For single women, pray for any who are wrestling with the possibility that their mission service may mean they never marry.
• Pray for women working in a situation where there is a lack of male leadership.
  
• Pray for women with families who may be educating their children at home or facing the painful prospect of sending their children away for schooling.
• For women who have ageing parents left in their home country, pray they might have wisdom and peace about their situation.

Image courtesy of ZoofyTheJi, stock.xchng

Dating with Purpose, Dating with Purity

Tonight my husband and I are giving a talk to our youth group at church. They have asked us to speak on dating. I don't have time to go into all that we will touch on, except to say that the more we read on this issue, two things are continually brought home to us: Dating with purpose and dating with purity.

I simply therefore want to highlight a few resources that we have found helpful in our reading. For those of you who are contemplating dating, or are already involved in such a relationship, take time to read the short articles on this subject from Boundless, and for a more in depth read, both books by Joshua Harris are recommended.

• Biblical Dating: An Introduction
  
• Biblical Dating: Are You Ready to Date?
• What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?
  
• Biblical Dating: To Kiss or not to Kiss?
  
• Does God Bring People Together?
• Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend
• Brother, You're Like a Six!

• "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
• "Boy Meets Girl" By Joshua Harris

Your Weekly Dose of Susannah Spurgeon

For today's dose of Susannah Spurgeon I want to break from the usual pattern. Rather than look at some aspect of her life from which we can learn, I'd like to commend some of her writings. Many of you will be familiar with Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening Devotions, but how many of you are aware that Susannah has also penned for us some Morning Devotions?

Psalm 139 is for many of us an awe inspiring piece of Scripture. In it we find David inviting the Lord to search his life. Knowing that God is ultimately sovereign over all aspects of life, from it's inception to the nitty gritty of everyday circumstances, David asks God to inspect his life so that he can reveal any grievous way in his life so that he can lead him anew in the everlasting way.

Today I'd like to commend to you some of Susannah's thoughts on this psalm for your meditation.

'Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.' (Psalm 139:2).

Thou Knowest. Come my soul, here is a test as to your spiritual condition! Will you apply it? Will you be weighed in the balance of the sanctuary, and see whether or not you are found wanting? Does your Lord's intimate knowledge of your every thought, and desire, and action, oppress and disconcert you, or are you willing and glad to live under such close inspection, and even to covet the glances of that eye which searches you through and through?

'My Downsitting and mine uprising.' Lord, do you love me so much as to watch tenderly over me in such small matters? How the thought comforts me! We do not care about the everyday life of strangers: but when we love anyone dearly, we take great interest in all that concerns them; and even so, my God, this searching, knowing, understanding, compassing, besetting, laying of your hand upon me, are all most precious tokens to me of your indescribable love.

How watchful and careful should this knowledge make me! 'My downsitting and mine uprising.' My home life! My daily duties, both of work and of leisure! My going out and my coming in, my conduct and bearing under all circumstances! How these are all gathered into the compass of those five words! Lord, help me to walk worthy of you, unto all pleasing!

'Thou understandest my thought afar off.' What infinite knowledge! Well may the psalmist say, 'It is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it'!

Before I think, God knows my thought! O my soul, are not your thoughts the source of most of your grievous perplexities and sorrows? They are often so unruly and rebellious, sometimes unholy and profane, that all your efforts to bring them into captivity to the law of Christ are unavailing! Then, see where your help lies.

The God who can understand your thoughts 'afar off' has the power to restrain them; no, more than that; before they reach you , while they are yet distant and unexpressed, he will purify and cleanse them, so that they shall enter your heart as angel whispers, and pass your lips only as words of love and blessing.

Dear Master, I make your servant David's prayer my very own and say, 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.'

We're Busy At Home!

As you're aware, it's Thursday today and for us here at titus2talk we have reached the end of the week as far as blogging is concerned. Let me take a few minutes to explain. Following a conversation with Catriona last week, we have decided that we can all to easily allow our blogging to 'take over' and interfere with our responsibilities at home.

While we see this as a valuable work, at times it seems to creep in and control areas of our lives. There are many times that we find ourselves: reading for bloggings sake; browsing the net for bloggings sake; endlessly wondering what on earth to write about, all for bloggings sake. This is not to mention that it is all too easy to neglect the attention of our husbands and children because we 'need to post'. These are just a few critical areas of our lives that we must have in order, and prioritise before we blog. Our decision therefore is not to stop posting, but not to allow it to dominate those things we are meant to be "busy at home" with. What we hope you'll find is that one week may be more lean than another, but when we post, our thoughts and exhortations to you would be more God glorifying, Christ exalting and Spirit filled as we put our houses in order. It would be to our neglect and both our detriments if we continued to blog with Titus 2:3-5 in view and fail to live it out in our daily lives.

So, we have come to the end of this week's posts. There will not be any Womanhood Watch tomorrow, but please take advantage of following up on some of the links we have mentioned in posting this week and visit those we value reading on our own blogroll. Have a blessed weekend and we'll return, God willing, on Monday with Susannah Spurgeon.

Thanks for your faithful readership and, as they say, we'll keep you posted!

Wise Words for Women: Guard Your Heart

I came across the following article the other day courtesy of Lydia at The Purple Cellar. "Guard Your Heart" addresses unmarried women, exhorting them to guard their hearts so that "it does not become entangled emotionally without the protection of a covenant." The author, Nancy Wilson, offers some exhortations which she admittedly might come across as "a trifle negative", but will have positive results. I'd like to quote from her article for today's wise words and commend the rest for your reading.

Nancy writes:

You must guard your imagination if you want to guard your heart. Don’t feed a lonely heart with cheesy romance novels or chick flicks and fantasize about the men or the relationships described. This can quickly become lust—lusting to be lusted after. Don’t allow yourself to imagine someone is interested in you when he is just being friendly. Don’t imagine that he had a tender look when he said hello to you, when he was really just giving you a polite greeting. In other words, do not develop wild crushes. If the man in question shows an interest elsewhere, you will be hurt, and depending on how much you indulged your imagination, you may be devastated. Be realistic about the men who show you attention....

Cultivating male group friendships is a healthy alternative to the world’s dating system, but we must not use these friendships to fill a void. Friendships can be sexually charged, and women are usually very ignorant about this. Friendships should not be intimate, but good-naturedly distant. Would you be able to maintain the friendship on an equal footing if you were married? If not, it is probably an inappropriate friendship. Women should have the kind of friendships with the brothers that are characterized by purity and propriety. If you have to alter your behavior after you are married, you have probably been behaving in an unwise or ungodly manner....

Titus 2 Truths: To Love their Children Pt 2

We continue this week in our study in Titus 2 considering the ways in which older women are to teach the younger how to love their children. If you recall last week's post, Catriona explained that the greatest way we can love our children is to look out for their spiritual, eternal welfare.

As Catriona mentioned last week, it might seem strange that young women are to be taught to love their children. In fact, some might even raise an objection to this, arguing that love comes naturally to mothers. This is the case for many, and yet, there are times when we falsely interpret maternal love for other things. Sharon James in her book, God's Design for Women mentions a few examples:

• Fear of losing control: seen in being domineering
• Fear of sickness or accident: seen in being over-protective
• Fear of failure as a mother: seen in anger at the child's failure to reach mother's expectations
• Fear of losing a child's affection: seen in overindulgence and weak discipline

Sharon makes the point that we can think that we are loving our children, yet what really is needing addressed is an issue in our own lives. She goes onto add:

By contrast, genuine Godlike love is putting the interests of the other first. All the pressure on us now is to put 'number one' first. We are told that we should not do as our mothers did, and sacrifice ourselves for our children. Self-fulfilment is all important, and nothing, not even our children, should get in its way. But self-sacrifice is what bringing up the next generation is all about...Mothering (natural or spiritual) actually brings out the best in a woman, because it requires laying self aside.

So let's consider ways in which we can truly live sacrificially for our children and weed out false notions of love that are really only rooted in fear of failure, rejection and control .

Your Weekly Dose of Susannah Spurgeon

Last week we looked at the way in which Susannah Spurgeon selflessly used her house for the glory of God and good of others. This week we are going to further consider Susannah's selfless way of life as she and Charles lived a frugal life in order that others may benefit.

Not long married, we read in Charles Ray's biography that: "housekeeping was commenced on a very modest scale, for C.H. Spurgeon was keenly anxious to provide a training for young preachers who needed a course of education to fit them for the ministry." This was something that Susannah herself became committed to and she "threw herself into the work with a zeal not less than his own."

Charles Ray goes on to describe her as a "splendid manageress, and by means of rigid economies quite a substantial amount was saved towards the support and education of the first student, the success of this effort leading to the foundation of the Pastor's college....There were times when the devoted couple abstained from almost necessary things in order to have money to help on the work, and to the young wife it must have been truly a period of anxiety when 'means were sorely strained and the coffers of both College and household were well-nigh empty'. But there were joys which more than compensated for any cares of this kind."

Upon reading this I found myself asking the question: do I take time to sit down and plan how I can use my money to glorify God and bless others? Perhaps this is something you might want to do over the next few weeks. If you are married and have a family, this might be a good opportunity to sit together and consider how you might sacrifice some household comfort in order that you can give more to God's work. It might not lead to the founding of a Pastor's College, but it may well bless a brother or sister in need. May we be able to can echo these words of Susannah Spurgeon:

"I rejoice to remember how I shared my beloved's joy when he founded the Institution, and that together we planned and pinched in order to carry out the purpose of his loving heart."

Womanhood Watch

Here are some of the links worth looking at this week. We'll be back on Monday as we continue to learn from the life of Susannah Spurgeon.

• If you have never visited Monergism.com, this is a must, particularly since its recent redesign by Tim Challies.
• Lydia at the Purple Cellar has written a short series on what Peter and Paul have to say about female beauty. Read "Peter and Paul on being Pretty" part 1, 2 & 3 and A Woman's Touch. She has also commented on some of our fave verses, Titus 2:3-5 in Beauty & the Business Women and rounded up Peter and Paul's picture of a godly woman with The Beauty of Backing Down. Take a look, there are some really helpful thoughts and insights here.
  
• I was tickled by Girltalk's funnies for last week..."If Women Controlled the World".
• Dan at Pyromaniacs writes for the yoots on making dads glad and mums glum.
• Another Look at 1 Corinthians 7 at Solo Femininity is a must read for singles this week. Go the extra mile and download the sermon she recommends.
• What does it mean for a husband to lead his wife? "A husband leads by dying" is the main point of John Piper's sermon this coming weekend. Until then, check out this short video clip it'll make you want to listen to more!
• "Does God bring People Together?" A question often asked, Boundless responds.
• Tim Challies has started a superb two parter on the Extraordinary Value of Women. It's a must read as is the book he recommends. Watch out for part 2!
• For His Renown offers a few thoughts on the book, 5 Paths to the Love of Your Life: Defining Your Dating Style. For more information on the book visit the web page of Alex Chediak the editor of the book.
• Justin Taylor considers a sermon on What Biblical Submission Does and Does Not Mean.
• And finally, the ladies at Girltalk are on schedule to bring out a new book this summer. Shopping for Time looks at five ways in which women can make the best use, or "shop" for time. Or as they remind us, in the words of the great Scot (yeah!) Horatius Bonar, "redeem the time".

Similarities and Differences

In January, we held a seminar in our church for women entitled Biblical Femininity: The Maker's Design. Nicki gave a talk on this subject, exploring how God made us with our distinct identity as women. At one point, we split into groups and discussed the similarities and differences between men and women, and then we reported back to the whole group. We thought you might be interested to read some of the answers (although I'm sure these lists are not exhaustive!).

Similarities:

• Both have emotional needs
• Both have goals and desires
• Both think and feel
• All seeking meaning and significance
• Both may be discontented with self image
• Both want a place and need to belong
• All are sinners
• Both need to be loved
• Both have similar intellectual abilities
• Both have a role in family life
• Equal in sight of God
  

Differences:

• Men stand to talk on telephone
• Men don’t stick to swimming lanes
• Men tend to be more providers, women more nurturers
• Physical differences
• Women are more willing to show emotion
• Women are better at multi-tasking
• Men are more spatially aware in general
• Women may be more intuitive
• Men listen to more what is being said, women to why
• Women can be manipulative and are prone to gossip more
  
• Women live longer, more likely to look after themselves
• Women need friends more, more relational
• Men often need an activity to socialise around
• Women love to shop!
• Women can have babies, have a monthly cycle
• Men tend to be more rational and logical
• Men get flu, women get colds!

Obviously some of these are tongue in cheek, but they illustrate that although men and women share some characteristics, there are also significant differences between the sexes, and these differences are present in God's creation design. In his book Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth, Wayne Grudem affirms that men and women are equal in value and dignity. He writes:

To be in the image of God is an incredible privilege. It means to be like God and to represent God. No other creatures in all of creation, not even the powerful angels, are said to be in the image of God. It is a privilege given only to us as men and women. Any discussion of biblical manhood and womanhood in the Bible must start here. Every time we talk to each other as men and women, we should remember that the person we are talking to is a creature of God who is more like God than anything else in the universe, and men and women share that status equally.

However, men and women are different and have different roles as part of the created order, complementing one another to the glory of God. To quote the 1987 Danvers Statement,

Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order, and should find an echo in every human heart.

If this is something that you struggle with, can I encourage you not to merely accept the androgenysed view of men and women presented by society today, but read more about this to come to a biblically informed opinion. The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood has made a lot of helpful resources freely available including the full text of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, which is an excellent place to start, as well as the text of Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth.