Titus 2 Truths: Key Qualities

Last week we thought about how important knowing the Bible is as we seek to grow in wisdom and discernment. Now, let's look more closely at the qualities that Paul says should be evident in the older women who are teaching young women, qualities that all Christian women should pursue.

Reverent in behaviour - In her book Spiritual Mothering, Susan Hunt says,

Reverence implies honor, respect, love and obedience. A reverent life is the product of a reverent view of God. An exalted view of God will shape a Biblical world view that permeates all of life for the woman of faith. A Biblical belief and value system is foundational for a lifestyle of reverence.

Am I cultivating this sort of behaviour? Does the way I live my life and tackle everyday tasks show that I honor, respect, love and obey God?

Not slanderers- Paul knew that this was an issue for women and we thought about this a few months ago. How easily friendships can be destroyed by a few careless words as we seek to show others how much we know, or make ourselves the centre of attention. As Proverbs 12:18 states,

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Not addicted to much wine - For some, alcohol may be a very real struggle. However, others of us may be putting an imaginary tick next to this attribute, thinking that this is not something we need worry about. However, unhealthy obsessions may affect us all. Susan Hunt writes:

We must be free from habitual, compulsive behavior in order to live disciplined lives for God's glory. Self-control, as opposed to self-indulgence, is the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Do we struggle with an unhealthy compulsion for food, shopping or even the internet? What can we do to improve our self control in these areas?

Teach what is good - Susan Hunt again:

The Greek word translated "good" means beautiful, commendable, excellent...This goodness is a manifestation of the grace of God within and stands in stark contrast to the standard of goodness that the world contrives.

In fact, all of these qualities are manifestations of God's grace, available to all who ask him. Often, I don't feel I'm developing any of these attributes but thankfully it does not depend on my ability or energy.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

Your Weekly Dose of Susannah Spurgeon

Last Monday we looked back to the first steps of Susannah Thompson's faith which were to lead to a sacrificial life of marriage and ministry with Charles Haddon Spurgeon. Today we are going to tell you about Susannah's first contact with Charles which was to develop into a deep and intimate friendship.
Sunday 18th December 1853 marked the day in which the young Spurgeon (19) preached for the first time at New Park Street Chapel. Susannah did not venture out to church that morning, but after the praise in which Mr and Mrs Olney (close friends of Susannah) had for the preacher, she found herself at the evening service.

Her initial thoughts of young Spurgeon were less than admirable. Charles Ray records for us: "Miss Thompson was shocked. This was quite contrary to her ideas of what a preacher should be. Young Charles Haddon Spurgeon was evidently from the country; she could have told that in a moment even if she had not known....What business had such a youth in the pulpit of Dr Gill and Dr Rippon? And with that thought in her prejudiced mind Susannah Thompson settled down to hear what he had to say."

Some years later Susannah wrote:

Ah! How little I then thought that my eyes looked on him who was to be my life's beloved; how little I dreamed of the honour God was preparing for me in the near future! It is a mercy that our lives are not left for us to plan, but that our Father chooses for us; else might we sometimes turn away from our best blessings, and put from us the choicest and loveliest gifts of his providence. For, if all truth be told, I was not fascinated by the young orator's eloquence, while his countrified manner and speech excited more regret than reverence. Alas, for my vain and foolish heart! I was not spiritually minded enough to understand his earnest presentation of the gospel and his powerful pleading with sinners - but the huge black satin stock, the long baldy-trimmed hair, and the blue pocket handkerchief with white spots...these attracted most of my attention and I fear awakened some feelings of amusement.

After accepting the pastorate at New Park Street Chapel, Susannah and Charles would often meet at the home of Mr and Mrs Olney and as such, Susannah soon got over her earlier prejudices. His "earnest pleadings soon aroused her" and Susannah "realized that her life of indifference and non-service was far front being what it should be." She writes:

Gradually I became alarmed at my back-sliding state and then, by a great effort, I sought spiritual help and guidance...One day I was greatly surprised to receive from Mr Spurgeon an illustrated copy of 'Pilgrim's Progress', in which he had written the inscription "Miss Thompson, with desires for her progress in the blessed pilgrimage, from C.H. Spurgeon, April 20th 1854."

She continues:

I do not think that my beloved had at that time any other thought concerning me than to help a struggling soul heavenward; but I was greatly impressed by his concern for me...By degrees, though with much trembling, I told him of my state before God; and he gently led me, by his preaching, and by his conversations, through the power of the Holy Spirit to the cross of Christ for the peace and pardon my weary soul was longing for.

Two things struck me today about the beginnings of the relationship between Mr and Mrs Spurgeon. Firstly, whether we are married or not, God puts before us his best. Sometimes we look upon that which will become dear to us with prejudice and disdain because, like Susannah, we are not spiritually minded enough. It's only when our minds and hearts have that Godward orientation that our Father in heaven reveals to us his choicest and loveliest gifts in which he has mercifully prepared for us.

Secondly, I was also reminded of what truly is foundational in any relationship, particularly a marriage: Charles had Susannah's desire for progress in the blessed pilgrimage. As one who is blessed being married to a committed Christian and preacher, I can only concur that to have one's spouse committed to your spiritual welfare is by far the most important part to married life. This is something that husbands and wives must surely work harder at, and singles must put at the top of their list in seeking a prospective spouse.

Next week we'll look at the "Dawning of Love" and the courtship of Susannah Thompson and Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

All references are taken from Charles Ray's The Life of Susannah Spurgeon

Womanhood Watch

It's that time again when we link you to some good stuff we've come across on the net this week. Have a great weekend and we'll be back with you on Monday for your weekly dose of Susannah Spurgeon.

• Read this interesting article and interview with two mentors who focus on helping young women marry well.
  
• If you are recently married, or just about to tie the knot, this article on taking your first year off is worth your attention.
• This week the girltalkers tried something new! Check out the girltalk bookclub week one discussion.
• Unashamed Workman links us to an article on doing family devotions.
• Are you sleep deprived? Are your kids keeping you up at night? Amy can sympathise.
• I came across this website this week. Check out history's women of faith.
• Do you feel and act like your single life is a "holding room"? Kezia at A Woman who Fears the Lord suggests another approach. Not only that, one of her goals for 2007 is to learn the Shorter Catechism. If you want to know why, read her reasoning along with her exhortation to parents here.
  
• Nancy Leigh DeMoss has a wealth of resources for women here. Needing a spiritual challenge? Sign up here.
  
• Juanita over at Jam & Books reviews a couple of books which critique the results of the feminist movement, from a non-Christian perspective.
• Scott Croft asks: if all sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin, does this include kissing? Read his article "Biblical Dating: To kiss or not to kiss" here.
• The Modesty Survey is up and running at The Rebelution. Do you know that 95% of their male respondents (1) noticed whether a girl dressed modestly or not, (2) agreed that modesty is important for all girls and (3) that modesty is an important quality for their future wives to have. Check out their results after week one here.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

The house is quiet today, and the hills are covered in a fine mist that threatens to turn to snow. I’m in contemplative mood. The New Year is still relatively young and after the busy Christmas period, God has given me a window of unhurried restfulness in which to reflect.

Today I’m looking back, and looking forward. Looking back to the years I’ve already lived on planet earth, and the amazing life and adventures I have been privileged to have as a missionary and pastor’s wife. I’m looking back to the women I have learned from, and looking forward to the woman I will continue to become, and the legacy I will leave behind. I’m ‘looking back’ too to the younger women following on behind me, and looking forward to the older women whose example I’m following.

Life as a missionary meant many moves, and a specific mentor was something I have never experienced. But God was good enough to allow my path to cross that of godly older women in whom, however briefly, I could see a ‘radiant something’ – something extraordinarily beautiful and challenging that I knew I wanted. Today I want to thank God for each and every one of them, whose lives exemplified “This is the way – walk in it.”

Today I’m looking back too – that is back to the younger ones who are following me. I’m thanking God for Nicki and Cat, for the inspiration they’ve provided for me to keep going in my own walk with God, and developing the work amongst women in our church – because there are at least two bright ‘hungry for God’ younger women who are watching and wanting to learn. I wonder what they will remember of me when I am gone? Will they have seen something of that bright radiance I have seen in other women, or will they be disappointed? So I’m praying today – “Lord, make me worthy.”

I’m looking forward too, to the woman I will become. Will I be like that 80 year old I know who attracts younger women to her like bees around a honey pot, because of her sweet, gracious, uncomplaining manner. A life of singleness has not embittered her, but turned her in devotion towards her God. She will leave a legacy of huge worth amongst the women and children whose lives she has touched.

What legacy will I leave? Only the Lord knows, only time will reveal.

Lord – make me worthy.

Wise Words for Women: Chosen to Nurture

Last night I was re-reading a couple of chapters from Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book "Biblical Womanhood in the Home." I was contemplating her chapters: A Portrait of a Woman Used by God and Portrait of a Foolish Woman. What a wealth of wise words to write about! However, I want to share something that particularly struck me, something foundational and applicable for all women who want to be used by God. Nancy writes:

God has chosen all of us...to bring forth spiritual life. 'You did not choose me,' Jesus told his disciples, 'but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last' (John 15:16). I believe there is a special sense in which God created us as women to be bearers and nurturers of life. Whether or not He grants us physical children, He wants to use us to carry the life and light of Jesus into the world - to be spiritual reproducers, bringing forth His life in the lives of others.

We may look at certain prominent or unusually gifted people and think they have been uniquely chosen by God. The fact is, if you are a child of God, you have been chosen by God for a task of supreme significance - to be a bearer and nurturer of spiritual life by carrying the life of the Lord Jesus to others.

Once you look at your life that way, you'll never again have a "self image" problem. Many women today carry scars of rejection from parents, mates, or friends who have spurned them. What a joy to discover that though we deserve to be rejected by God, we have been chosen to belong to Him and to be part of His redemptive plan in the universe.

As women chosen by God, designed to be spiritual reproducers and nurturers of life, let's think about our immediate sphere of influence and how we might bring forth and nurture the life of Christ around us. 'The wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down' (Proverbs 14:1). Whether your "house" is your family, church, workplace, friends or community, by God's grace and at his appointing, let us be wise women who become actively involved in building our "houses" daily.

Titus 2 Truths: "Age into a sage"

Today as we continue to think about the mandate in Titus 2 for older women to teach those who are younger, let's read some words from John Piper on this subject, found in his book, When I Don't Desire God:

It is a great advantage to be wise. Wisdom is different from the mere knowledge of facts. Some very wise people have little formal education. And some very educated people, who know many facts, are not wise. Wisdom is the insight and sense of how to live in a way that accomplishes the goals for which we were made: the glory of God and the good of man. And since glorifying God involves delighting in God, and the good of man involves sharing our joy in God, therefore wisdom is the only path to deep and lasting joy.

It won't surprise us that this joy-producing wisdom comes through the Word of God..."Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom."The Word of Christ brings "all wisdom" into our lives so that we can help each other know it and live in it.

One of the challenges I repeatedly hold out to the people of our church - especially the women- is that they make it one of their aims to age into a sage. I love the vision of older women full of seasoned spiritual fruit that comes only with long life and much affliction and deep meditation on the Word of God. So many younger women yearn for older women, who are deeply wise, to share the wisdom God has taught them over the years. The joy of giving and receiving this kind of gift is great. It is a joy that comes by the Word of God. There is no better joy than what comes through wisdom. Therefore, the Word of God is more valuable than anything on earth.

As I read this, I must consider whether I am making efforts to "age into a sage". Am I spending time dwelling on God's word and applying it to the various situations I find myself in? Do I look upon afflictions as a trial to be endured or an opportunity to learn more about God? As we get older, (as we all must!) let's rejoice that in God's economy we need not be left "on the scrap heap". Instead let's faithfully apply ourselves to knowing the Word of Christ so that we can encourage and equip other women.

Your Weekly Dose of Susannah Spurgeon

Last week, we introduced a new series called "Your weekly dose of Susannah Spurgeon." We were introduced to a woman who has been described as a wife who exercised tremendous "unselfishness and self-effacement", a "true 'helpmeet", and one who sank "her own individuality and claims" and became "absorbed in those of her husband." Today I want us to go deeper into her life, considering the outset of such a remarkable life and ministry.

As a frequent attender of New Park Street Chapel with her parents, Susannah Thompson grew up familiar with the preaching of the gospel of which she recalls the ministry of Pastor James Smith: 'A quaint and rugged preacher, but one well versed in the blessed art of bringing souls to Christ...Often I had seen him administer the ordinance of baptism to the candidates, wondering with a tearful longing whether I should ever be able thus to confess my faith in the Lord Jesus.'

That longing became a reality when, by means of a sermon from Romans 10:8, 'The Word is near you, in your mouth and in you heart' Susannah "was first aroused to a sense of her own personal need of a saviour." She writes: 'From that service..I date the dawning of the true light in my soul...constrained by his love, that night witnessed my solemn resolution of entire surrender to himself.'

Sadly, "few attempts at encouraging young converts to engage in service for their Lord" and "the lack of communion with kindred youthful spirits...were no doubt, more or less responsible for a state of coldness and indifference which in a short time took the place of joy and gladness of soul that had followed conversion." Susannah records: 'Seasons of darkness, despondency and doubt passed over me...but I had kept all my religious experiences carefully concealed in my own breast.'

It was through this period of her Christian life that the influence of a young man would indeed change her life forever and he himself would become more dear to her than any other. Next Monday we'll look at Susannah's first contact with Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

All references are taken from Charles Ray's The Life of Susannah Spurgeon.

Womanhood Watch

It's that time in the week where we link you to some good material we've come across in blogland and beyond this past week.

We'll be back with you on Monday to continue Your Weekly Dose of Susannah Spurgeon.

Womanhood:

• Boundless address a readers question: Is there a predestined spouse for you or do you just get to choose from the possibilities that come your way? Read Candice Watters reply here.
• This week on titus2talk we started a series called: Titus 2 Truths. Here's one response worth reading in relation to mentoring and the value of having an 'older woman' to learn from when contemplating marriage & relationships.
• In her series "About Marriage", Carolyn McCulley looks at the life of Rebekah and her display of loving kindness and how it answered the prayers of one man. Read Rebekah's Kindness here. The next installment of her Q & A with a married woman is also available here.
  
• Over at A Gracious Home find out how to celebrate a year of abundance by living by the following sayings: Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do, Do without.
  
• Beth at Ebenezer Stories shares a prayer for children.

Not especially womanly, but interesting:

• John Piper's new book Amazing Grace in the Life of William Wilberforce is now available. You can either buy it or read free online here.
• If you are looking for a challenge, Miss M gets us to find 72 bands in a picture. This has been the most fun Rebecca has had in a while. (HT: Rebecca Writes)
• Unashamed Workman asks: Does Scripture make a case for preaching?

Heaven at Home

One of the books I got for Christmas was Heaven at Home: Establishing and Enjoying a Peaceful Home by Ginger Plowman. I read this book over a few days in the Christmas holidays and found it to be extremely practical and helpful.

The book is divided into five parts. The first is entitled "Home is heavenly when the woman is happy" and each chapter discusses how we can find true joy in our relationship with Christ and our roles as wives and mothers. The second is "Home is heavenly when unity prevails" and this section deals with how we can cultivate unity in marriage and between our children and resolve conflict gracefully. The third part is called " Home is heavenly when relationships are right". This section focusses on how to foster good relationships with in-laws and friends, as well as nurturing children in their relationships with Christ. The fourth part "Home is heavenly when children obey" discusses a mother's role in parenting, drawing on material from her previous book Don't make me count to three! Finally, "Home is heavenly when it serves as a haven". This last section gives practical advice about the day to day running of a home, with a chapter on hospitality.

I particularly enjoyed the final section of the book and reading it at the turn of the year gave a good incentive to implement some of the advice given about home management. In one chapter, Ginger discussed how we can keep our homes clean and organised (although the advice to do a whole week's laundry on one day doesn't really work out when you don't have a tumble dryer!). She also presents the case for structuring our own and our children's days to make best use of our time.

The thing that impressed me most about this book, however, was the author's clear desire to keep the motivation for all we do Christ-centred and several times in each section she draws the reader back to the basic reasons for all we try to do in the home:

You see, establishing and enjoying a peaceful home is for God's glory. A Christ-centred home does result in a more productive, more fulfilling life, but only because it is first focussed on pleasing Christ. It is a way to fulfil the very purpose for which we were created- to worship God in all we do.

This book is definitely worth adding to your wishlist.