Thursday, January 18, 2007

Looking Back, Looking Forward

The house is quiet today, and the hills are covered in a fine mist that threatens to turn to snow. I’m in contemplative mood. The New Year is still relatively young and after the busy Christmas period, God has given me a window of unhurried restfulness in which to reflect.

Today I’m looking back, and looking forward. Looking back to the years I’ve already lived on planet earth, and the amazing life and adventures I have been privileged to have as a missionary and pastor’s wife. I’m looking back to the women I have learned from, and looking forward to the woman I will continue to become, and the legacy I will leave behind. I’m ‘looking back’ too to the younger women following on behind me, and looking forward to the older women whose example I’m following.

Life as a missionary meant many moves, and a specific mentor was something I have never experienced. But God was good enough to allow my path to cross that of godly older women in whom, however briefly, I could see a ‘radiant something’ – something extraordinarily beautiful and challenging that I knew I wanted. Today I want to thank God for each and every one of them, whose lives exemplified “This is the way – walk in it.”

Today I’m looking back too – that is back to the younger ones who are following me. I’m thanking God for Nicki and Cat, for the inspiration they’ve provided for me to keep going in my own walk with God, and developing the work amongst women in our church – because there are at least two bright ‘hungry for God’ younger women who are watching and wanting to learn. I wonder what they will remember of me when I am gone? Will they have seen something of that bright radiance I have seen in other women, or will they be disappointed? So I’m praying today – “Lord, make me worthy.”

I’m looking forward too, to the woman I will become. Will I be like that 80 year old I know who attracts younger women to her like bees around a honey pot, because of her sweet, gracious, uncomplaining manner. A life of singleness has not embittered her, but turned her in devotion towards her God. She will leave a legacy of huge worth amongst the women and children whose lives she has touched.

What legacy will I leave? Only the Lord knows, only time will reveal.

Lord – make me worthy.


Beth said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's good to read a post from you. You are indeed having a powerful impact as a Titus 2 woman as reflected in the wise and thoughtful words of your younger blogmates. I thank God for you and would dearly love to meet you one of these days. In His Love,

Keziah said...

Great to come across some fellow Scots - there doesn't seem to be many of us in Blogland!

I can think of several of those 80 year old women you talk about. I only hope I can become just partly like them as I go through life.

I have been so fortunate to have older Christian friends to guide me - I should perhaps make an effort to let them know what a blessing they have been to me and others like me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this. Walking in a worthy manner of the Gospel and leaving a godly heritage for my children are my heart's desires. Your words encouraged my spirit.