titus2talk

10 Questions for Pastors' Wives: Mae Milton

2009-09-17T19:00:00.005+01:00

After a bit of a break we have another contribution to our series "Ten Questions for Pastors' Wives". This time the questions are answered by Mae Milton, the wife of Dr Michael Milton who is the President of Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte. Mae and Dr Milton have been in pastoral ministry for many years and prior to them coming to Charlotte, Dr Milton was Senior Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Chattanooga, Tennessee.

1. What do you think is your most important responsibility as a pastor's wife?

The most important responsibility as a pastor's wife is to be my husband's chief supporter. To make our home a place of respite for him, a place where he can come and leave all the pressures of the pastorate behind. There are practical ways to do this.

2. Is there anything that you think is not part of your role that others may assume is?

Others may assume that they get a "two for one" deal. That is you will teach a Bible study, play the piano, be in the choir, teach the children, lead the women's group. etc... But, none of that may be your role. You are your husband's wife and if you have children, a mother. You don't have to do any of those things. You may be gifted in an area and enjoy doing certain things, but you are a wife and mother first to your family. Do what you enjoy and are good doing. I recommend not being the leader of any group. This sometimes sets you up for unnecessary criticism. In church planting, this may be necessary in the beginning, however.

3. What boundaries have you established in order to protect your marriage and family life?

Protecting your husband's day off is very important. You may have to leave the house on those days or turning the phone to OFF..and not answering for any reason. Some pastors even have a separate line that they give out to only family and close friends to call. Also, people may try to use you to get their message to your husband. Sometimes you can listen and not carry it on to him. Or, you can kindly tell them if they have a suggestion they call the office to make an appointment with him to discuss the matter. That your home is so busy that you don't want to be responsible for church matters. Also, if they call you up trying the same thing, just refer them to the office. Most of the times I never told my husband.

4. How do you apply Galatians 6:2 (“Carry each other's burdens”) when facing difficulties or frustrations in ministry?

If you have a friend in the ministry, you can call them to pray. Even family can pray when difficulties arise.

5. Where do you and your husband find your own pastoral care?

If there are other pastors on staff, you usually have someone with which to talk. Sometimes we have had other pastors in other churches to go talk with. Who have been able to pray with us and for us.

6. How do you deal with criticism of you or your husband?

This is very difficult. Everyone, I think, deals with criticism differently. I personally try to pray through it. If I know I have to see that person, I try to avoid them until I have gotten calmed down, if I am really upset. I usually act as if I know nothing is going on. Just keep smiling. If someone would ask me if I had heard this, that or the other, I would usually smile as say I have no idea what is going on. Most of the time, that is the truth. Or if there is some criticism of myself, I would just say "I will take it to the Lord and see if there is some merit to it and will make adjustment if necessary. Thanks."

7. What is the greatest blessing and what the greatest burden of being a pastor's wife?

People are the greatest blessing. Instant friends, people who love you, people to take care, and support you. They become your family. The greatest burden are also people as some will hurt you, talk about you, use you, take advantage of you and let you down.

9. What one piece of advice would you pass on to a new pastor's wife?

Be yourself. If you love to cook, feed people in your home. If you love children, work with them. Old people, work with them. Use the gifts the Lord has given you. But, your most important mission is to take care of your husband, because if you don't take care of him, he won't be able to take care of his flock.

10. How can the other women in a congregation best support you practically and in prayer?

I think the other women in the church can help you by being your friend. Praying that you would be the kind of wife your husband needs you to be.

Phatfish - In Jesus

2009-09-03T02:12:00.003+01:00

So it's September. Where did August go? Posting has been a pretty rare event around here lately as Nicki has just moved to Northern Ireland and I've just started homeschooling, so spare time for us has been rare. I did manage to make it to the gym tonight though and was listening to In Jesus, the latest Phatfish album on my MP3 player.

As with their other recent albums the thing that stands out for me is the quality of the lyrics. There is hardly a word wasted, and all of them are theologically rich. One of my favourites on this album is No one like our God:

The Sun it torches the sky
A distant star bursts to life
Behind it all, there You are,
Sustaining
The raindrops water the earth
And then the harvest gives birth
Behind it all you remain,
Sustaining
Fall on your knees, there is no one like our God
Worship the Lord, King of Kings

This album definitely has a more rocky feel to it than their last and they have recruited a couple of extra guitarists, but I liked the sound. If you want to check out some samples to see if it is your cup of tea you can do that here. All I can say is that it made my workout session much more uplifting than it usually is! And they will even mail it to the USA...

Colin and Nicki are moving on

2009-07-26T00:47:00.005+01:00

Sunday 26th July is a special day for a few reasons. My husband and I will be joining Uptown Church in Charlotte, which is only the second church I have regularly attended in my life. For over thirty years before that I attended, and since the age of eighteen, was a member of, Charlotte Chapel in Edinburgh. And speaking of Charlotte Chapel, on Sunday morning, Colin Adams (Nicki's husband) will preach his last sermon there before moving to Northern Ireland to become pastor of Ballymoney Baptist Church.

I was thinking about Colin and Nicki, and how much they will be missed in Edinburgh. Colin is an extremely gifted preacher and I have been challenged many times under his ministry. I was thinking which of Colin's sermons stands out most in my mind and the one that I immediately thought of was a sermon on Psalm 16 which was entitled "Take refuge in God". You can listen to it here - it will be well worth your time.

Nicki has been such a great example of biblical womanhood, and has been a mentor to many women (even setting at least one of them up with their future husband!). She has also been tireless in offering hospitality to other people of all ages. She is a devoted Mum and a inspiration to me as I struggle with the daily reality of life with small children. I certainly miss our weekly coffee dates at the soft play centre!

They will be missed in Edinburgh, but as a new chapter opens for them, I am sure that God will use them in their new church. And life is like that. With each new opportunity God brings, there will be sadness at what we leave behind. Yet God is sovereign and will use our new situation to mould us and conform us to the likeness of Christ. Our surroundings may change, but our God does not.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Prayers from home

2009-06-17T19:07:00.007+01:00

I am currently reading through Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson and I am finding it extraordinarily helpful. Sally Clarkson and her husband run an established ministry for home-schooling families and, although this book is directed at home-schooling mums, it has a lot to say to those just need encouragement in their mothering, whether or not they home school.

She splits the book into the four seasons namely, Spring, season of renewal; Summer, season of response; Fall, season of resolve; Winter, season of reflection. She takes each in turn and offers wise counsel on such things as finding joy in our children and where God has placed us, bringing our desires into line with God's will, building our house, discipling our children. She uses examples from her experience of raising four children and writes like a good friend or older sister.

One chapter I found especially helpful was on the importance of praying for our children. How easy it is to be anxious about how our kids will turn out, whether they will love God and know to do the right thing, worrying about if we are doing enough to make this happen. Instead we should divert our energies from worry into prayer: not only is this the most important thing we can do for our children, but God will use it to bring us peace. Sally writes:

The more time I spend with my Father in prayer, the better prepared I will be to help my children. And even more important, the more I can rest in the Lord knowing, by faith, that my children are in his hands. When I can trust in God's providence, draw on his grace, join in the spiritual battle through prayer, and praise his name, all the other things I do as a mother seem to pale in significance. The more I grow as a mother, the more I grow convinced that the most important impact I will ever have on my children will be through my prayers for them.

Sometimes I feel like I have fallen to my knees out of exhaustion, tiredness, or frustration. But no matter what has brought me to my knees, that is right where God wants me. It is only from being on my knees in prayer that I will have the strength and assurance to stand up and keep going as a mother. The battle belongs to the Lord. Amen!

I whole-heartedly recommend this book. Whether you happen to be home-schooling or not, it will encourage you in your motherhood mission.

The Blue Ridge Mountains

2009-06-11T01:51:00.003+01:00

You light up the heavens with just one word,
You measure the mountains in Your hand;
Yet You treasure the broken and make them whole,
You crown us with Your love

Lord You are an Amazing God

(From Lord You are an Amazing God by Phatfish, on the album Guaranteed)

From Jeremiah Burroughs

2009-05-31T19:13:00.005+01:00

A great quote from The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment (which I'm slowly making my way through!), for when we are struggling for contentment in the circumstances God has put us in:

The difference between what a godly man has and a wicked man, is this: a godly man is as a child in an inn, an inn-keeper has his child in the house, and provides his diet, and lodging, and what is needful for him. Now a stranger comes, and he has dinner and supper provided, and lodging, but the stranger must pay for everything. It may be that the child's fare is meaner than the fare of the stranger; the stranger has boiled and roast and baked, but he must pay for it, there must come a reckoning for it. Just so it is: many of God's people have only mean fare, but God as a Father provides it, and it is free of cost, they need not pay for what they have, it is paid for before; but the wicked in all their pomp, and pride, and finery: they have what they ask for, but there must come a reckoning for everything, they must pay for all at the conclusion, and is it not better to have a little free of cost, than to have to pay for everything? Grace shows a man that what he has, he has free of cost, from God as from a Father, and therefore it must needs be very sweet.

10 Questions for Pastors' Wives

2009-05-26T11:55:00.003+01:00

Today we continue with our series 10 Questions for Pastors' Wives interviewing Alison Hamilton. Alison is married to Scott Hamilton who is senior pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel, a new church plant in Glasgow, Scotland.

1. What do you think is your most important responsibility as a pastor's wife?

To be a good wife - to love and submit to our husbands and therefore to God. Ephesians 5v22-24

2. Is there anything that you think is not part of your role that others may assume is?

Can't think of anything specifically that people have assumed that is part of my role!

3. What boundaries have you established in order to protect your marriage and family life?

I think this has been more relevant for Scott - he tries to make sure that we are in together one evening, he would be fairly clear that people don't think they can just pop in anytime they fancy to our house. I Probably need to make sure I watch my tongue - not to be grumbling and complaining about Scott.... not that I ever would!! - It is not a helpful or Godly example to set.

4. How do you apply Galatians 6:2 ("Carry each other's burdens") when facing difficulties or frustrations in ministry?

In prayer and encouragement from God's word.

5. Where do you and your husband find your own pastoral care?

From other pastors and their wives who are friends.

6. How do you deal with criticism of you or your husband?

We need to exam the criticism for a grain of truth, then hand it over to the Lord recognising that he is control of all things and that he probably wants to grow me in my understanding of his love and forgiveness which he expects me to mirror in return to the source of the criticism even if it is untrue or unfair.

7. What is the greatest blessing and what the greatest burden of being a pastor's wife?

Seeing people grow in their walks with the Lord, especially my husband, and the encouragement that is. Greatest burden - frustration of seeing people make unwise choices and the effects that they can have on others.

8. Are there any books you would recommend that you've found particularly helpful as a pastor’s wife?

I don't think I've ever actually read a book about being a pastors wife - but as I think the most important thing about being a pastors wife is being a good and godly wife - some helpful marriage books are- Love that Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci and When sinners say I do by Dave Harvey.

9. What one piece of advice would you pass on to a new pastor's wife?

Someone said to me and a bunch of pastors and wives recently that we should make sure that our marriages are the best in the church - so invest in your marriage - recognise that you are both sinners but have a great Saviour, that submission, forgiveness and humility are God's way and although difficult at times and certainly not cultural responses - due to the pride in our hearts will bring God's peace. That God is always sovereign and in control - even when things seem like they are spiraling out of control and that God's ways are not being honoured - he has his plans and purposes in all situations which are far more complex than we can ever understand or see.

10. How can the other women in a congregation best support you practically and in prayer?

By being in a healthy discipling, accountable relationships with some of them. That they would encourage me in my walk with the Lord to know love God more to pray 2 Thessalonians 1 v 11-12, also in my marriage - to love and serve my husband and family.

10 Questions for Pastors' Wives

2009-05-18T01:31:00.005+01:00

A little while back, Nicki's husband Colin had a series on his blog called "10 Questions for Expositors". We have unashamedly stolen his idea and have sent a set of questions to a number of pastors' wives. The aim of this is to inspire and encourage women who are married to a pastor or to a seminary student. Also we want to give other women an insight into the challenges that pastors' wives face so we can better encourage and pray for those in leadership.

So let's start things off with our first pastor's wife! My dear friend Melissa ministers along side her husband Mike, who is Associate Pastor at Uptown Church, Charlotte, NC. Here are her responses:

1. What do you think is your most important responsibility as a pastor's wife?

Truthfully, my most important responsibility is to abide in Christ, keeping Him always first in my heart.

2. Is there anything that you think is not part of your role that others may assume is?

Hopefully, they don’t want me to sing! : ) The reality is that I can never be all things to all people. Whenever people expect you to fill all their needs (what can only be done in Christ), ultimately you will fail. That has been a tough lesson for me – letting go of what other people think I should be doing and do what Christ has called me to do. Also, learning to value people’s insight, but let go of their opinions.

3. What boundaries have you established in order to protect your marriage and family life?

The first: daily time with the Lord. If this boundary is established, I really believe all the other boundaries will fall into place.

The second boundary: all commitments should be done for God’s glory, not man’s approval. There is always more ministry to be done. We should labor with all diligence, but for God’s glory, not our own.

4. How do you apply Galatians 6:2 ("Carry each other's burdens") when facing difficulties or frustrations in ministry?

My husband is my best friend. When I’m frustrated, he listens. When he’s frustrated, I listen. Also, in the listening trying to speak the truth lovingly. Giving calm advice to one another that encourages peace within the body.

5. Where do you and your husband find your own pastoral care?

This has been difficult for us at times. What I can say with all truthfulness is that God provides the care we need, just when we need it. It has come from people in our church, books we have read, sermons on line… He provides in a variety of ways.

6. How do you deal with criticism of you or your husband?

I attempt to deal with it patiently and lovingly. Many criticisms are misunderstandings, so I try to listen to what they are saying. For other criticisms, it is always good to be open to our need to change, as well as the fact that our husbands are not perfect.

7. What is the greatest blessing and what the greatest burden of being a pastor's wife?

Greatest blessing – getting to spend our lives building Christ’s kingdom. It really is an honor to get to do the work of the gospel full time.

Greatest challenge – loneliness… not from being with people, but from being understood by people. It is a very different life from most of my friends, so at times I feel the loneliness of that.

8. Are there any books you would recommend that you've found particularly helpful as a pastor’s wife?

True Woman, Susan Hunt; When Life & Belief Collide, Carolyn James; Anything by Elisabeth Elliot; Suffering & the Sovereignty of God, Various Authors, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor.

9. What one piece of advice would you pass on to a new pastor's wife?

You can only minister to others what you know to be true yourself. Know the Lord.

10. How can the other women in a congregation best support you practically and in prayer?

Praying for our marriage and children. Praying that the Lord would keep us from temptation and allow us to live lives set apart that bring Him glory. Pray that He would keep us faithful in all things with what He has entrusted to us.

Audio for Pastor's Wives

2009-04-28T10:38:00.002+01:00

Recently at the 2009 Sovereign Grace Pastor's Conference two seminars were given for pastor's wives that are worth listening to.

The Pastor’s Wife and Culture: What Feminism Has Done to Femininity by Carolyn McCulley.
The Pastor’s Wife and Ministry Opportunities: Five Great Deals She Won’t Want to Miss by Carolyn Mahaney.

More about prayer...

2009-04-27T02:26:00.004+01:00

Yet it is not an easy thing to pray. There is a price to be paid, a price of curbed freedom, of resolute concentration, of agonizing supplication. Prayer is the acid test of devotion. To stay in the presence of God and to wait upon him, bearing your soul to His searching gaze, costs everything. The one who prays must be transformed. Prayer must make him holier, purer, more Christ-like. Prayer is a purifying medium.

Colin Peckham, from Sounds from Heaven, The Revival on the Isle of Lewis 1949-1952.

If God Already Knows, Why Pray?

2009-04-08T01:39:00.006+01:00

It's not often these days that I have a "eureka moment" but recently it happened to me while I was reading a book about prayer. You probably know the feeling; you read something and suddenly something previously obtuse becomes crystal-clear. Now I've read a few books on prayer in my time, and some of them were quite good. But If God Already Knows Why Pray by Douglas Kelly is definitely the one of the best.

It is written in a very readable style, full of excellent illustrations and helpful stories. Dr Kelly follows the structure of the Lord's prayer and answers the question he poses in the book's title. He first deals with "If God already knows" under the headings of "Prayer depends on who God is", "Prayer and the praise of God" and "Prayer and the purposes of God". The next section deals with the "why pray", because "Prayer changes us" and "Prayer changes others". Part 3 then talks about "Our problems and God's solutions", discussing "The challenge to persevere", "Wrestling in prayer" and "When God appears to say no".

The section I found most helpful (and the source of my personal revelation!) discussed the divine initiative in prayer. Dr Kelly explains how

"God has specifically chosen to use the prayers of His saints (which they base on His written word) for His name to be glorified and His will to be done."

I believed this to be true in my head, but this did not energise me when it actually came down to the praying. Dr Kelly goes on to explain how

"effective prayers start in heaven and are sent down to us by God himself"

and after reading this section I really started to understand what this means.

"The risen Christ is interceding for us in heaven (Hebrews 7:24-28). The Spirit is there with Him, because the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are always together. And that same Spirit 'also helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered' (Romans 8:26).

The Spirit leaves the throne where Jesus is praying and comes down into the believer's heart where he begins to re-echo the intercessions of Jesus. It is as though the Holy Spirit places a mirror inside our hearts and turns it in such a direction that it reflects back to heaven the deepest desires of the interceding Christ."

Eureka! Well, for me at least. If you feel you need some insights to fire up your prayer life, then read this book. Be warned, your prayers may never be the same again.

Modesty

2009-04-04T09:25:00.002+01:00

I've just discovered a new webzine over at Next . This month particularly has a worthwhile read in Lydia Brownback's article, The Single Woman and the Modesty of Personal Restraint:

As the spring season blooms, talk about modesty heats up in Christian conversation as fast as the weather. Bloggers, radio hosts, and the rest of us lament the shorter hemlines, deeper necklines, exposed bellies, and bare bottoms in thong bikinis at the neighborhood swim club. But immodesty deals with a lot more than revealing too much skin. We are just as prone—if not more so—to overexpose what’s under our skin. Revealing too much about ourselves is immodest too. When Peter painted his picture of godly womanhood, it included outward modesty—how we handle “the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing”—but it also included the modesty of personal restraint—“a gentle and quiet spirit,” which, he said, is very precious in God’s sight (1 Pet. 3:4).

Read on here. You'll also find further resources on the Next site with a bunch of conference messages from over the years on various subjects and from top notch speakers.

Bible Overview

2009-04-03T13:32:00.003+01:00

If you're looking for some good bible overview sermons I'd thoroughly recommend these ones by Mark Dever from Capitol Hill Baptist Church. Go on, pick a book and start listening.

New Testament Overview

Old Testament Overview

He saw the first time

2009-04-01T00:23:00.005+01:00

I all too easily get discouraged when a task I have just completed soon needs to be done again. The washing, the dirty dishes, meals; I'm sure you can add your own list. So I found this quote from Helen Roseveare very helpful. She is describing her time at WEC mission headquarters, where she went in preparation for going to the Congo as a mission doctor.

I was told to go and wash the cement floor of the toilets and bathroom on the women candidate's floor. I found a bucket and a brush, and set to...I scrubbed out the first toilet and started on the second. A candidate entered the first with muddy shoes. The floor was still wet. When she left, I returned and did the first again. Meanwhile, someone else entered the second. This continued for some little time with a rising sense of frustration. I'd never get them clean! I'd fail, my very first day in training, to achieve the task I was set. Tears pricked at my eyes. I scrubbed on, muttering, 'Devil, get out of here! Devil, get out of here!'

Someone came in, and standing still a moment watching me, heard my muttered comments. She laughed and startled me. 'Now I understand why our cakes are all burnt today!' she exclaimed. 'We're in the kitchen underneath, and you're sending the devil down to us!' She left amused. But there was another quiet spectator, Elizabeth, who was in charge of the candidates and who had given me this task. After a short pause, she gently asked me why I was so upset. I explained the cause of my frustration. 'For whom are you scrubbing this floor?' she replied. 'Why for you, of course; you sent me here.' I've never forgotten her answer. 'No, my dear. If you are doing it for me, you may as well go home. You'll never satisfy me. You're doing it for the Lord, and He saw the first time you cleaned it. That now is tomorrow's dirt.'

From Give Me This Mountain by Helen Roseveare.

Different by Design 2009

2009-03-30T15:37:00.003+01:00

The Different by Design conference this year at Bethlehem Baptist Church featured a favourite of mine, Don Carson. He spoke on 1 Timothy 2 and here are his two messages.

What Makes for a Strong Women's Ministry?

2009-03-14T13:49:00.002Z

This is the recent question posed over at CBMW. Brent Nelson writes:

Recently Sarah Flashing wrote an article asking, "Does ‘complementarian' equal anemic women's ministry?" Her answer was: yes, usually, but it needn't. After a brief anecdote regarding a conversation with a young woman on her bus-ride home, Flashing concludes,
"Holding to a complementarian view of the church and family does not necessitate that women's ministries focus primarily on social activities, discussions how to feed their families, or fill in the blank bible studies. There is room for young women...who want to bring solid methods of biblical interpretation and theological reflection to women's lives, and we can talk about more theological topics than just biblical womanhood, though we should certainly talk about that as well."
I applaud the direction Flashing takes in the article, save for a subtle contrast that could bode poorly. There wafts an air of chronological snobbery (to echo C.S. Lewis): "These are women who want to fulfill the Titus 2 mandate, to mentor and ministry to other women, who wan to play a significant role in Christian education, but also want to escape the culture of women's ministry that they inherited from their grandmothers."
There's a danger lurking here. First, what is it about their grandmothers' culture of women's ministry that must be escaped from just because it was two generations back? One could argue that since every generation must admit to its blind-spots, past generations could illumine our current blind-spots at least as well as we can illumine theirs.
Yet a second danger seems even more risky. Are those who reject their grandmothers' kind of women's ministry sure of what they reject? It is well that the Titus 2:3-5 mandate drives the current aims, but was it not held high 50 years ago by our godly grandmothers? Indeed, some who led women's ministries in the 1950's may have lived the scriptural ideals of ‘self-control, purity, working in the home and submission to their own husbands' far better than some today.
Those women who mean to glorify God by seeking to become theologically robust, spiritually sagacious, steadily joyful, biblically-surrendered and steeled in their faith dare not neglect the help available to them from Christians past.

Read further for Brent's book recommendation on how women can lead women.

Free Proclamation Trust Audio

2009-03-07T09:22:00.002Z

Unashamed Workman has linked to some free Proclamation Trust audio, including messages from Piper, Carson, Keller, Lucas, Jensen and Milne. What he failed to highlight ladies were a couple of messages for women! Here they are:

Spring Ministry Wives Conference 2008
Women in Ministry 2008
Women in Ministry 2009

Although the audio is free, you do need to register.

Sustaining Grace

2009-03-06T19:23:00.001Z

"Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
Nor flight from all distress, but this;
The grace that orders our trouble and pain,
And then, in the darkness is there to sustain."

John Piper - New Horizon, NI 2006

Easy-peasy oat crunchies

2009-02-28T18:23:00.003Z

Now that I am at home full time I have re-discovered my copy of Delia Smith's Complete Cookery Course. This book tells you how to boil an egg properly (and I found I've been doing it wrong all these years!) and it also contains a recipe for oat crunchies which I made for the first time the other day. Very easy and very nice! Here is my slightly amended version:

Ingredients
110g (1.5 cups) oats
75g (1/3 cup) light brown sugar
110g (1 stick) margarine or butter

Preheat oven to 375oF, 190oC or gas mark 5.
Grease a 9x9 inch cake or brownie tin.

Put the oats and sugar in a bowl and mix together well. Gently melt the butter being careful not to let it brown. Pour the melted butter into the bowl and mix well. Tip the mixture into the cake tin and press down evenly with your hand (the crunchies will be quite thin).

Bake for 15 minutes until they are pale golden brown. Remove from oven and cut into 12 portions with a spatula while still warm. Leave in the tin until cold and crisp then store in an airtight tin.

Much more, remember, not much less

2009-02-16T00:13:00.002Z

From Daily Secrets of the Christian Life , a devotional from the writings of Hannah Whitehall Smith, brought together by Ann Spangler:

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matt 6:30

How often have we marvelled at the orderly working of the universe, and have admired the great Power that made it and now controls it. But we have, none of us, I suppose, ever felt it necessary to take the burden of the universe upon our own shoulders. We have trusted the creator to manage it all without our help.

Even where we have fully recognised that the universe is completely in God's care, we have failed to see that we are also there, and have never dreamed that it could be true that "much more" than he cares for the universe will he care for us. We have burdened ourselves with the care of ourselves. In our unbelief, we think that we are of "much less" value than the birds of the air or the lilies of the field. Man is so puny, so insignificant, of so little account when compared to the great, wide universe. What is he, we ask, that God should care for him? Yet God declares that he does care for him and that he even cares for him much more than he cares for the universe. Much more, remember, not much less. Every thought of anxiety about ourselves must be immediately crushed with the reflection that, since we are not so foolish as to become anxious about the universe, we must not be so more foolish as to become anxious about ourselves.

Why Falling in Love Isn't Enough

2009-02-14T07:50:00.004Z

From my husband at Unashamed Workman:

"Tomorrow night I have an unusual opportunity. I’m speaking to married couples about cultivating their marriages, prior to them heading out for Valentine’s meals across the city.

My short talk will mention John Wesley, who this week in 1751 literally ‘fell in love’ with his wife to be, Molly (read about the remarkable outcome of his painful slip on London bridge here).

As infamously known, however, Wesley’s marriage did not build upon its initial promise. One certain cause was John’s unwillingness to travel ‘one less day or one less mile’ simply because he was now in a married state. He did not invest in his marriage. As I will put it tomorrow night:

John Wesley learned the hard way that you can ‘fall’ into marriage, but you can’t slip and trip into a good one. That takes care and consideration; it takes labour and learning. Such a marriage is neither light, frothy or easy. But it if we do it God’s way – with loving intentionality – it is lasting."

Ballymoney is Calling

2009-02-11T21:12:00.003Z

It's been a bittersweet week in our house as my husband and I announced to our church in Edinburgh, that Colin has accepted a call to Pastor Ballymoney Baptist Church in Northern Ireland.

For the past 6 years it has been more than our privilege to serve and fellowship with God's people in Charlotte Chapel. Not only that, we have benefited so much from this local church that it is with a heavy heart that we will go. But the Lord's hand is upon our lives, upon Charlotte Chapel and upon Ballymoney Baptist Church and we pray that he will work out his purposes among his people, bringing glory to his name in these places.

Here are some things that I am thankful for:

1. 200 years of faithful Gospel witness in Charlotte Chapel

2. 23 years of faithful Gospel witness in Ballymoney Baptist Church

3. 200 years of faithful expository preaching in Charlotte Chapel

4. 23 years of faithful expository preaching in Ballymoney Baptist Church

5. For many a godly example in Charlotte Chapel that I have sought to follow

6. For many a godly example in Ballymoney I hope to follow

7. For God's grace to serve in Charlotte Chapel

8. For continued grace to serve in Ballymoney

9. For the love, care & fellowship of many dear brothers & sisters in Charlotte Chapel

10. For the love, care & fellowship already felt from Ballymoney

Encouraging Words from Mrs Spurgeon

2009-02-10T10:15:00.003Z

When my soul is tossed on the rough waves of the troubled sea of this life, if I can but cast out the anchor of hope into the depths of God's blessed will, it holds fast at once and the winds and the waves are rebuked...

God's plans and purposes for me, and for you, dear reader, were all made and determined on from the beginning; and as they are worked out day by day in our lives, how wise should we be if, with joyful certainty, we accepted each unfolding of his will as a proof of his faithfulness and love! When once I, as a believer, can say from my heart, 'This is the will of God concerning me', it matters not what the 'this' is - whether it be a small domestic worry, or the severance of the dearest earthly ties - the fact that it is his most blessed will, takes all the fierce sting out of the trouble, and leaves it powerless to hurt or hinder the peace of my soul.

Susannah Spurgeon, Free Grace & Dying Love

Q & A on Singleness

2009-02-08T15:58:00.001Z

How is singleness better than marriage?
How can singles help foster a relational culture at church?
How do I deal with the intense longing to be married?
What are the trials unique to singleness, and how do you recommend combating them?
What would you say to someone who thinks their sexual sin has disqualified them from ministry?
What do you think about masturbation?
Is it OK for a single woman to pursue a career?

For the answers to these questions listen here.

One for the Guys

2009-01-29T11:17:00.003Z

6 Ways to Meets Your Wife's Need for Affection is a short, helpful article from Crosswalk - one for our guy readers and one to pass on to our husbands.

1. Touch her arm or knee when you talk with her. Your gentle touch communicates, “I’m here. You’re not alone. I enjoy you. I’ll take care of you.”

2. Make an effort to spend time alone together – go out for dinner, for a walk, or out for coffee. Show her (and others) that you enjoy the intimacy of being alone with her.

3. Grab her hand and hold it when you’re out in public.

4. Give her a kiss and a hug when you leave and return home.

5. Don’t see every complaint as an attack. Women think as long as they feel the marriage is working, they can talk about it. On the other hand, most men feel the relationship isn’t working if they have to talk about it. Allow her to express what’s on her mind.

6. Recognize her strong emotions as exclamation marks. When she is upset, angry, or frustrated, realize that these emotions are her way of letting you know how much the issue at hand matters to her.

Read the rest of the article here.

The Good Book Available in the U.S.

2009-01-27T09:38:00.004Z

Here in the UK we have a wonderful resource in The Good Book Company. As from next Monday TGBC will be open for business in the US. Their press release states:

"We are pleased to announce the launch of a new, Bible-centered, Christian resource provider in North America. From the 2nd February 2009, The Good Book Company will make available its full range of resources to churches and individuals in North America from its new US-based website.

The Good Book Company is a Christian resourcing agency that began in the UK and grew out of the need for attractive, quality, practical materials for gospel work, which don’t compromise on the essentials of the Christian faith. It has a particular focus on daily devotional reading, small group Bible study, outreach, discipleship and resources for youth and children.

A number of The Good Book Company’s resources already have a strong following in the US and Canada, including Christianity Explored, The Gospel Centered Church, Christianity Explained and If you could ask God one Question. Now they are cheaper and easier to get hold of than ever before.

Editorial Director Tim Thornborough said, ‘When we exhibited at Together for the Gospel last year, we saw a real hunger for sound gospel resources which are faithful to the Bible but which also engage with an increasingly post-Christian culture. That's what we specialize in and our prayer is that the range of resources we've developed over the past two decades will serve to equip local churches in discipleship and reaching out with the gospel.”

US Ministry Director Brad Byrd said ‘February 2nd may be Groundhog Day on the calendar but, no matter what our furry friend may predict, spring has come early with the launch of The Good Book Company in the USA. A wave of fresh ideas, new perspectives and tried and true Biblical insights are available for the first time in North America.’

The launch has been timed to coincide with the Desiring God Pastor’s Conference in Minneapolis where two of The Good Book Company’s key resources - Christianity Explored and Christianity Explained – are being commended to delegates.

To celebrate the launch, visitors to thegoodbook.com will receive 10% off all purchases until the end of February."

For more details of the Good Book Company range, contact US Ministry Director, Brad Byrd at brad.byrd@thegoodbook.com or on 866 244 2165 (toll free). To browse the site, please visit http://www.thegoodbook.com

A Message for Women

2009-01-24T17:45:00.002Z

Want to know what the ultimate meaning of true womanhood is? Watch here.

Biblical Womanhood

2009-01-19T00:01:00.001Z

This week at our church we are beginning a year long, once a month women's study on Biblical Womanhood. We'll be using Sarah Young's study to guide us as we explore what the bible says about,

God's Creative Design for Women
Women and the Fall
Women and Marriage
Women and Singleness
Women and Beauty
Women and the Family of God
Women and their Brothers
Women and their Sisters
Women and their Lord

We like to encourage a little bit more reading besides the studies, so we're also compiling a resource file of books & articles to read and a list of good talks/sermons on the net. This week I've been scouting out some good articles and talks on God's design for women at creation. Here's a few articles and sermons (so far) I've found worth passing on.

Gender Identity in Creation by Mark Dever
Men & Women: Similarities & Differences by Wayne Grudem
Man & Woman Before Sin by John Piper
Male & Female He Created Them In the Image of God by John Piper
The Order of Creation by RC Sproul
Male-Female Equality & Male Headship by Ray Ortlund Jr
Male & Female Complementarity & the Image of God by Bruce Ware

Johnson on Calvinism

2009-01-17T07:47:00.002Z

I've found Phil Johnson's recent posts over at Pulpit Magazine on Calvinism very helpful. Have a quick read and take some time to listen to his conference message, The Story of Calvinism here.

Clarifying Calvinism Part 1
Clarifying Calvinism Part 2
Clarifying Calvinism Part 3
Clarifying Calvinism Part 4
Clarifying Calvinism Part 5
Clarifying Calvinism Part 6
Clarifying Calvinism Part 7
Clarifying Calvinism Conclusion

Online Books

2009-01-16T14:06:00.000Z

If you're a bit short of cash after the Christmas season, or due to the "credit crunch" you're "tightening your belt", there is still no excuse for not getting a hold of a new book to read. Our amazing friends over at Desiring God not only give us free sermons, but books too. You can visit their online book section to get your pick of around 50 books. Happy reading!

Don Carson Resources

2009-01-15T09:41:00.003Z

Andy Naselli has recently finished compiling a comprehensive collection of Carson MP3's to be hosted at The Gospel Coalition website. So if you have some spare time on your hands, start searching through all of the 443 free MP3's available here.

HT: JT

Not To Us

2009-01-08T14:06:00.022Z

This next week will bring a measure of sadness as two friends leave Edinburgh to embark on journey's that the Lord has mapped out for each of them. Catriona and Rachel (a.k.a fellow bloggers) are moving on. On Saturday our church will be rejoicing with Rachel as she marries John and then moves down to London. Not only will she be beginning married life with John, but she will become a pastor's wife!

Next Thursday sees my closest friend over the years move over to Charlotte, North Carolina. Catriona also embarks on a new chapter of life as she supports James in his new teaching role at RTS and takes up the privileged opportunity of giving up paid employment to work at home with her two lovely girls.

At times like this it is easy to become wrapped up in ourselves. We dwell on our sadness and become quite selfish as we think about the ways in which we will "lose out". We aren't always mindful of our sovereign God whose ways are altogether good, sanctifying us and bringing glory to his name. I'm therefore reminded, even in these difficult times, the words of Psalm 115;

Not to us, O Lord, not to us
But to your name be the glory,
Because of your love and faithfulness

And it is because of His love and faithfulness that I have had the great joy of partnering with these two amazing women in the work of the Gospel. And so, to God be the glory.

Wisdom

2009-01-07T15:44:00.003Z

In Piper's sermon, "The Mind of Christ: Looking Out for the Interests of Others" he defines wisdom as:

The ability of the soul to perceive God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, gospel-fashioned, people-helping ways to live, with the knowledge God gives us. Wisdom is not the ability to memorize specific biblical rules of behavior. Wisdom is needed because so many of our decisions are not explicitly regulated by specific rules in the Bible.

Watch, read or listen to Piper's sermon on here. What he says is indeed beautiful.

Muffins: Fast and Fantastic

2008-12-13T09:17:00.003Z

Catriona here, pulling myself out of the Christmas whirl to write a blog post (Nicki is picking herself up off the floor right about now!). Anyway, I have a great suggestion for a Christmas gift that is inexpensive but invaluable if you know someone who likes baking or would like to learn. It is a book about how to make excellent muffins called Muffins: Fast and Fantastic, and it is written by a lady who goes to our church, Susan Reimer. She wrote it several years ago when she first moved to the UK from Canada with her family. She was frustrated when her tried and tested muffin recipes just didn't work with British weights and measures so she set out to re-write the recipes for use in Britain and this book (which was self-published) was the result. It is extremely practical, and full of helpful comments about how to modify the recipes for different diets or just for variety. And even if you live in North America, it will still be useful to you as she gives advice on how to modify the recipes for US/Canadian ingredients and measures.

I can personally endorse almost all the recipes as I've virtually baked my way through the whole book and not one of them has been a flop. (My husband has enjoyed trying them out!) I even gave a copy to Rachel for her engagement and she made some excellent summer fruit muffins for her engagement party. If you can't wait for the book to arrive you could visit Susan's website where you will find the recipe for her amazing banana muffins and can get started right now!

(And Susan, hope you don't mind me giving you a plug - have a great Christmas!)

A Mother's Work....

2008-12-11T11:21:00.003Z

....A Model for True Work. Here is a must read article, and below is a snippet.

All work is sacred work, worthy of the diligence, the effort. I pick up lost legos, dry the pots, whish the toilets and this serves God. For if I can’t meet God in my work, where do I meet Him? If I don’t serve Him here, where do I serve Him? Are we not called to serve God in the work – not merely in some imagined, mirage place outside of work?

In a model of Christian work, we live one-piece lives, all weaving together into a sacred cloth as unto the Lord with no false seams between God and our days.

And in our work, sacred work because there is no such thing as secular work, we first serve God. I’ll put away the laundry, sweep the crumbs, polish the windows not to serve my family primarily, but to serve God.

Christmas Roundup

2008-12-04T11:28:00.003Z

Here are a few links to some of the Christmas things we've blogged about over the last couple of years.

Helpful Resources

2008-11-28T10:51:00.003Z

Over at Revive Our Hearts there are some useful resources available for downloading and printing. Here are some, but you can find more here.

Pamper Night

2008-11-27T19:04:00.009Z

Here are a few photos (though not great!) from our recent pamper night at church. We have run this for two years now and found it to be a useful way to engage people with the gospel, as well as have great fun! Around 2/3 of those that attend are new to church, coming along with a friend who has invited them.

As well as a nail bar, a home-made beauty treatment stall, 5 minute head & shoulder massage and endless coffee & chocolate, we also provide a prayer room and prayer request box which we are delighted to see people make use of. We end the night with a short talk and also send our ladies on their way with a gift bag of pampering goodies, including further information on the Christian faith.

So if you are looking for a creative way to open up your church to the ladies in your community, or are looking for an appropriate setting to encourage your female members to reach out to their friends, you might want to give this a try!

Becoming a Woman of Virtue

2008-11-27T10:14:00.003Z

Are you a wise woman building your house? Or are you a foolish woman tearing it down with your hands? Use these questions to help evaluate yourself.

A Challenging Reminder for Women

2008-11-24T14:53:00.004Z

A friend reminded me by email this morning of something I read a while ago - John Piper's Challenge to Women. Read it, better still, print it off and stick it in a place where you'll continually be able to revisit and be challenged by it. Here are Piper's 16 challenges:

That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.
That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.
That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven.
That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith. And that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.
That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world.
That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God undergirding all these spiritual processes, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things.
That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies, any more than men should fritter theirs away on excessive sports or aimless diddling in the garage. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.
That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.
That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.
That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give.
That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world. That you not only pose the question: Career vs. full time mom? But that you ask as seriously: Full time career vs. freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God's free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God's business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.
That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.
That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs.
That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative. That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.
That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God's ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about...

The awesome significance of motherhood
Complementing a man's life as his wife
Ministries to the handicapped

hearing impaired

blind

lame

retarded

Ministries to the sick:

nursing

physician

hospice care—cancer, AIDS, etc.

community health

Ministries to the socially estranged:

emotionally impaired

recovering alcoholics

recovering drug users

escaping prostitutes

abused children, women
runaways, problem children

orphans

Prison ministries:

women's prisons!

families of prisoners

rehabilitation to society

Ministries to youth:

teaching

sponsoring

open houses and recreation

outings and trips

counseling

academic assistance

Sports ministries:

neighborhood teams

church teams

Therapeutic counseling:

independent

church based

institutional

Audio visual ministries:

composition

design

production

distribution

Writing ministries:

free lance

curriculum development

fiction

non-fiction

editing

institutional communications

journalistic skills for publications

Teaching ministries:

Sunday school: children, youth, students, women

grade school

high school

college

Music ministries:

composition

training

performance

voice

choir

instrumentalist

Evangelistic ministries:

personal witnessing

Inter Varsity

Campus Crusade

Navigators

Home Bible Studies

outreach to children

Visitation teams

Counseling at meetings

Billy Graham phone bank

Radio and TV ministries:

technical assistance

writing

announcing

producing

Theater and drama ministries:

acting

directing

writing

scheduling

Social ministries:

literacy

pro-life

pro-decency

housing

safety

beautification

Pastoral care assistance:

visitation

newcomer welcoming and assistance

hospitality

food and clothing and transportation

Prayer ministries:

praying!!!

mobilizing for major Concerts of Prayer

helping with small groups of prayer

coordinating prayer chains

promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils

Missions:

all of the above across cultures

Support ministries:

countless jobs that undergird major ministries

Updated Resources

2008-11-13T14:22:00.003Z

Just to mention that we have recently updated (and are continuing to add to) our online resource section at the foot of the blog. If you have listened to any talks on biblical manhood & womanhood, marriage, singleness and parenting (or anything else edifying for that matter) that you think we would benefit from, we would love it if you left us a link. Now go fill up your ipod!

Pamper Night

2008-11-08T10:52:00.002Z

This is really notification for anyone in the Edinburgh area, particularly our church about our upcoming pamper night on the 20th November. This is an opportunity to bring along our unbelieving friends to be pampered, yet more importantly for them to hear the good news of the gospel that can cleanse, satisfy and beautify in ways that no amount of chocolate or beauty product can. Here are the details:

TICKETS ON SALE THIS SUNDAY & NEXT WEEK AFTER THE SERVICES (OR VIA THIS BLOG)

> Where else can you indulge in as much coffee & chocolate as you want?
> Where else can you get your nails done for that price??
> Where else can you try out some homemade face masks, hand scrubs & lip balms?
> Where else will you experience a little massage or a facial from a professional?
> Where else will you get the opportunity to browse some stalls & be charitable?
> Where else will you get a free goody bag?

ALL OF THAT FOR JUST £5! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,

Where or how else on Thursday 20th November will you have the opportunity to bring your unbelieving friends into contact with the Gospel?

Great gift idea for Christmas

2008-11-06T19:51:00.003Z

Yes, I know it's only the beginning of November, but once the evenings start getting dark I can't help but get excited about Christmas! And I've recently discovered some great books for children which have been released this year by Christian Focus. They are part of a series of short Christian biographies written in a style that is accessible to children.

We bought the book about Helen Roseveare for our oldest daughter (age 4) and she loves it. It retells an incident from Helen Roseveare's time as a missionary when she was looking after a very sick baby. It is easy for a child to understand and gives a great insight into the power of prayer. There are currently six books available in the series including George Muller, Corrie Ten Boom and Hudson Taylor. The Christian Focus website has them in the 8-12 category, but I think they are probably best for a bit younger than that. Check them out here and start your Christmas shopping early!

A Match Made in Heaven

2008-10-31T10:59:00.004Z

Maria Taylor, wife to missionary James Hudson Taylor, knew what was of utmost importance in marriage. When Hudson Taylor considered leaving China to gain an education and a sense of worldly honour in order that he might be a more suitable suitor for Maria, she responded,

I would wait if he went home in order to increase his usefulness. But is he to leave his work in order to gain a name for the sake of marrying me? If he loves me more than Jesus he is not worthy of me - if he were to leave the Lord's work for the world's honour, I would have nothing further to do with him.

To which Hudson replied,

She is a noble girl.

Taken from Hudson Taylor & Maria: A Match Made in Heaven

Charlotte Baptist Chapel - 200 Years Old

2008-10-27T07:56:00.004Z

This past weekend we were all a bit excited as we celebrated and gave God the glory for 200 years of his faithfulness towards our church. As my husband and I have been reflecting and reading about the history of the church one thing stands out. Despite the change in times, pastors, culture and society, one thing was constant - the preaching of the Gospel, the centrality of God's Word. To that end, here are some some posts written by Colin (Unashamed Workman) on the preaching & preachers of God's Word at Charlotte Chapel.

200 Years of Faithful Preaching
Christopher Anderson (1782-1852)
Joseph Kemp (1872-1933)
Graham Scroggie (1877-1958)
Sidlow Baxter (1903-1999)
Gerald Griffiths (1921-)
Alan Redpath (1907-1989)
Derek Prime
Peter Grainger
Alistair Begg Audio: The Vision Glorious ()
Alistair Begg Audio: Some Strange Ideas ()
Weekend Pictures
Some Choice Begg Quotes

God, Marriage & Family

2008-10-20T08:15:00.002+01:00

Andreas Kostenberger, who authored God, Marriage & Family, has also presented a 12 week discipleship class on marriage and the family at Richland Creek Community Church. Topics include the distinctiveness of Christian marriage, biblical parenting, contraception, adoption, singleness, homosexuality, divorce & remarriage. You can watch online here.

HT: Faith by Hearing

Back in the Cellar

2008-10-15T19:46:00.003+01:00

I'm glad to say that Lydia Brownback has returned to posting at the Purple Cellar. This is a great Godward blog for women and today she posts about Joy in Singleness .

How do I look...when I'm hearing from God's Book?

2008-10-09T23:15:00.002+01:00

In preparation for the children’s talk on Sunday, I’m looking at Acts 20 where Eutychus falls asleep and then out the window through one of Paul’s lengthy sermons. At first glance, this appears to be a slightly humorous story, however on closer inspection, it has a serious message for child and adult alike. I’ve been challenged to consider the different ways we respond to God’s Word while it’s being taught. As a sneak preview, here are 5 responses:

1. Boredom
2. Anger
3. Laughter
4. Falling asleep
5. Careful listening

We’re not given much information about poor Eutychus. We don’t know the state of his heart or if he was overtired and run down. We do however, know the state of our own hearts and more seriously still, we’re told this in Hebrews:

‘For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double- edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.’ Hebrews 4v12-13

So, next time you have God’s Word open, ask yourself this question:
What kind of listener am I?

Biblical Parenting

2008-10-09T13:27:00.003+01:00

Here is the audio for the sessions from the recent Biblical Parenting conference at Mars Hill, with speaker Tedd Tripp. Alternatively you can go here and here to watch the video.

The Call to Formative Instruction

Giving Kids a Vision for God's Glory

John & Rach

2008-10-08T12:56:00.003+01:00

Today at titus2talk we are celebrating with fellow-blogger Rachel on her recent engagement to John Percival, a dear friend and former Assistant Pastor at our church. Our prayers are for them both as they prepare for their wedding day in the new year and as they start out on a new life together as husband and wife.

But for now, here's something to ponder on - the importance and magnificence of marriage.

Feminism in Four Minutes

2008-10-08T09:30:00.002+01:00

Go here to see a 4 minute video on feminism by Carolyn McCulley, author of Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World.

The Daily Scroll

2008-10-07T15:39:00.006+01:00

Our friend Chris has just set up this new website. Subscribe now to get up-to-date news and other stuff from the blogosphere.

There is a day

2008-10-03T18:28:00.003+01:00

Maybe this is the end of a challenging week for you or maybe you just need a reminder of the hope we have in Christ. Anyway, watch this video of the song "There is a day" by the UK band Phatfish. It's just made my day!

Craving and grumbling

2008-09-21T14:00:00.000+01:00

I was reading Numbers 11 recently as part of working through the excellent Gentle Rain on Tender Grass by Sharon James. In this chapter, the Israelites are grumbling against God about the manna he has provided for them and harking back to their captivity in Egypt (where they had all the cucumbers they could eat, apparently!). As a result of their complaining and ingratitude they were judged severely. This also tied in with a John Piper sermon I just listened to on John 13:31-35. Part way through he talked about how we must lay aside our feelings of "entitlement" in order to love like Christ.

All of this has reminded me again how easily it is to slip into an "entitlement syndrome" where I feel things should happen in a certain way, to a certain timetable of my choosing. When things don't go that way, often my first response is to grumble to God, just like the Israelites did.

We are in the middle of planning a very big move from Scotland to the USA, and there is a lot to do. When things don't seem to be working out to plan, or when the headlines are yet again full of financial disasters I'm finding it hard not to default to grumbling. But as Sharon James says,

If our hearts crave after things that the Lord has not yet provided, there is only one thing to do: pray.

She then quotes from the Imitation of Christ:

What you should feel and say when you meet something you would like: 'Lord, if this is your will, let it happen like this. Lord, if you see that this will help me and do me good, then grant that I may use it to the honour of your name. But if you know that it will harm me and not advance my soul's salvation, then take the desire away.' You cannot find complete satisfaction in any temporal gift, because you were not created to find your delight in them. Even if you possessed all the good things that God has created, you could not feel happy and glad; all your gladness and happiness rests in the God who created those things.

Shepherding A Child's Heart Conference

2008-09-19T09:54:00.004+01:00

Some of our UK readers might be interested in attending the upcoming Shepherding a Child's Heart Conference with speaker Tedd Tripp at Grace Church Bristol in March of next year. Here is the blurb:

Everyone wants to be a great parent — the biggest responsibility of parenthood is teaching your children to love Jesus with all their heart, soul and strength. For parents with children of any age, Tedd Tripp’s insightful, biblical teaching provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child’s heart into the paths of life.

For more information and registration go here.

Ruth

2008-09-16T10:08:00.004+01:00

I'm currently working my way through John Piper's sermons on Ruth from the recent UCCF Forum here in the UK.

Ruth: Sweet & Bitter Providence
Ruth: Under the Wings of God
Ruth: Strategic Righteousness
Ruth: May the Redeemers Name be Renowned

To complement, my husband and I are reading together Iain Duguid's commentary on Ruth which I've recommended before.

Pondering Bunyan

2008-09-12T16:50:00.002+01:00

"We had this sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God that raiseth the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:9

"By this scripture I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon every thing that can be properly called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible, as Paul said in another place; the way not to faint, is to "look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." John Bunyan

Taken from John Piper's biographical sermon on John Bunyan.

Driscoll Interviews Piper

2008-09-05T10:52:00.000+01:00

In this video, Mark Driscoll interviews John Piper who shares openly and honestly on growing up, his parents, and about his marriage and family life.

Inspirational Biographies

2008-09-03T20:28:00.003+01:00

I enjoy reading Christian biographies, yet recently I've been impacted more by the lives & ministries of some of the Christian 'greats' in some of the talks given by John Piper. Here are a couple that I've listened to already -

How Few There Are Who Die So Hard! Suffering & Success in the Life of Adoniram Judson: The Cost of Bringing Christ to Burma
Contending For Our All The Life & Ministry of Athanasius
The Chief Design of My Life Mortification & Universal Holiness: Reflections on the Life & Thought of John Owen

Here a few more on my 'to listen to' list:

George Mueller's Strategy for Showing God Simplicity of Faith, Sacred Scripture & Satisfaction in God
Peculiar Doctrines, Public Morals, & the Political Welfare Reflections on the Life and Labor of William Wilberforce
To Live Upon God that Is Invisible Suffering and Service in the Life of John Bunyan
Insanity and Spiritual Songs in the Soul of a Saint Reflections on the Life of William Cowper

Grateful for 7 Years

2008-09-01T08:51:00.007+01:00

Today I am grateful to God for seven wonderful years of marriage to Colin. Here are seven reasons why (though there are more).

I have a husband who loves his Lord passionately.
I have a husband who loves me more than I ever dreamed.
I have a husband who loves me sacrificially.
I have a husband who is my best friend.
I have a husband who loves our children.
I have a husband who loves God's Word.
I have a husband who loves the Church.

9Marks Family & Parenting E-News

2008-08-26T19:53:00.002+01:00

The latest e-newsletter from 9Marks is available with some reviews and articles on Family and Parenting. You can download the whole thing on PDF here or follow these links:

The Single Woman as Homemaker

2008-08-22T06:16:00.003+01:00

Yesterday the Girltalk blog addressed the following question from a single woman regarding homemaking.

I honestly don't know what I'll do if I don't get married - being a stay-at-home-mom is all I've ever really desired to do as a "career"!....Do you have any encouragement for the single woman who desires to be a wife and mom, but...is not?

Read their response here.

Don't Try this at Home

2008-08-20T17:41:00.004+01:00

None of us are being incredibly creative here at titus2talk these days. I guess that's due to the busy lives we are all leading. In saying that we've always got time to link you to some good listening or reading and if that serves you here at our blog, then we're happy with that!

So today's recommendation is a talk given by Carolyn McCulley called Don't Try this at Home: Feminism's Wide-Ranging Influence. I found it helpful as Carolyn not only offers some words of testimony about her own experience as a once-feminist-turned-Christian who clearly is passionate about biblical womanhood, but she also gives a good foundational talk on feminism itself and its far-reaching effects. So if that interests you I encourage you to take 40 minutes or so and have a listen here.

Watch Your Man!

2008-08-14T13:17:00.004+01:00

We're married to sinners, right? There are times when we want our husbands to change for the better, right? There are times when we want to correct our husbands and all too often we go about it in the wrong way, right? I've just listened to this helpful talk from Carolyn Mahaney called Watch Your Man! You might want to listen in if you find yourself not going about this task of faithful, gentle correction with the respect and grace you should. Interested in finding out more? Here's the blurb and you can download the talk here.

Part of a wife’s biblical role is to bring faithful, gentle correction to her husband when necessary. True friends are willing to humbly correct one another, but if a wife does this poorly, she can damage her marriage.

In this seminar for women, Carolyn Mahaney explain’s a wife’s responsibility to lovingly watch over her husband. She gives biblical advice on questions such as how to correct in humility and love, when to forbear patiently, and when to prayerfully persist and appeal for change. Most important, Carolyn encourages wives to rely on God to change their husbands’ hearts and actions. It is God’s favor and approval—not change in their husbands—that wives must ultimately seek.

Two Quotes

2008-08-13T19:49:00.004+01:00

I'm re-reading Susan Hunt and Ligon Duncan's book, Women's Ministry in the Local Church. It's a must read if you are seeking to set up a ministry for women in your church. I just want to leave you with two quotes which I believe are primary - the first which challenges our commitment to church in general; the second which challenges us to 'do' women's ministry in the context of the whole church.

"Dr Edmund Clowney wrote, 'If we lack interest in the church we lack what for Jesus was a consuming passion. Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for it'. (Ephesians 5:25)"

"Approach to women's ministry is not consumer-oriented ('we deserve a ministry that focuses on us'), but kingdom-oriented ('how can we invest in women in a way that equips them as disciples, for their own spiritual maturation, for the good of the marriages and families of the church, for the betterment of the total ministry of the church, and for their life in the real world?')"

Home-work

2008-08-12T00:08:00.003+01:00

My husband has being doing a bit of home-work recently, listening to a few talks that focus on family life. He's listed a few good resources for guys, but here's a list of some of my home-work assignments, some completed, others I'm keen to give due attention.

Loving My Husband by Carolyn Mahaney
Loving My Children by Carolyn Mahaney
Celebrating Marital Love by Carolyn Mahaney
Wisdom for Women from Titus 2 by Susan Hunt
A Fresh Look at Titus 2 by Carolyn Mahaney
Sarah Edwards: Jonathan's Home & Haven by Noel Piper
Marriage: Forgiving & Forbearing by John Piper
Honouring the Biblical Call of Motherhood by John Piper
To Be A Mother is a Call to Suffer by John Piper
The Centrality of the Home by Voddie Baucham
Shepherding Your Child's Heart 0-5 by Tedd Tripp
A Wife's Responsibility to Help Her Husband by Barbara Hughes

The gift of the present

2008-07-30T10:59:00.004+01:00

As much as I love my job, one of the benefits of being a primary school teacher is definitely the 7 week holiday period of the summer! Being the kind, ‘looking out for others’ type of person that my mothers is, she had offered to take some children from church to the movies, so I tagged along too. As well as being really funny and full of impressive martial arts, one of the lines in Kung Fu Panda stuck in my mind.

Without spoiling the movie, Po’s wise master encourages him with these words,

Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...today is a gift...so that’s why it’s called the present.

This got me thinking; firstly about yesterday. Yesterday has gone. Things have been said, things have been done, things have been thought. They are all in the past now. Have I taken time to think back and learn from the mistakes I’ve made? Have I confessed the sins of yesterday? Then I started thinking about tomorrow. Things might be said, things might be done, things might be thought. They are all in the future. Am I worrying instead of trusting? Am I going to make wise choices today that might influence tomorrow? Only God, the immortal, invisible one, knows what will happen tomorrow.

James wisely writes,

Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.' (James Ch 4v14-15)

So I started thinking about today. A gift? Is that really how I appreciate each precious present day? Or do I continually look back and dwell on past regrets? Do I continually look forward and long for what has not yet come? Or do I really thank God that today I have air in my lungs, today I have a job to go to, or in my case a holiday to rest and use wisely for Him? Ask yourself these questions and if you go and see Kung Fu Panda, listen out for those carefully placed words and thank God for the present...it is a gift!

titus2talk worldled

2008-07-30T09:31:00.000+01:00

Since wordling things is the thing to do at the moment, here is what happened when I pasted in our very first post about what we're all about.

I promised I'd post, so here it is!

2008-07-24T20:28:00.003+01:00

Nearly two weeks ago before Nicki went on holiday I said I would post something, and I'm only getting around to it now. Sorry Nicki! Rather than come up with something serious and weighty I'm just going to pass on a couple of random humerous moments from my kids, one which happened recently and another that it reminded me of.

Random moment #1:

Me: So, Erin, who is our bible story going to be about tonight?
Erin (age 2): Jesus.
Me: Yes, and which story about Jesus do you think we'll read?
Erin (thinks for a moment): Jesus and the socks.

Nope, I've no idea what she's thinking of either - the mind boggles. This reminded me of something that her older sister said when she was about the same age.

Random moment #2:

Daddy: So, what were the names of Issac's children?
Dutiful daughter: Jacob and...(pause followed by triumphant look) Eeyore!

Hmm, I could have sworn that the Hundred Acre Wood isn't in the bible.

Mentoring & Ministry Wives

2008-07-12T08:50:00.000+01:00

I've been meaning to link to Connie Dever's article, The Pastor's Wife: Position or Juxtaposition for a while now, but busyness has prevented me! My husband had the privilege of meeting Connie and Mark Dever a few months ago when he was out visiting their church. While on the hunt for some good books for himself he was also keen to get a hold of a few resources for me on being a pastor's wife (since, in my estimation there are too few good books on the subject). Connie Dever kindly gave Colin a copy of One With A Shepherd and also a copy of her study guide, Juxtaposition which is a more than useful resource to "help other pastors' wives and their husbands to glorify God by being more closely connected to him, to each other, to their families, and to the brothers and sisters in their churches". 9 Marks and Connie Dever have been gracious enough to share this material here. I pray that if you are a pastor's wife with the opportunity to mentor a new, or soon to be pastor's wife you might use this excellent resource as I plan to.

I Want to be Like That!

2008-07-11T18:33:00.007+01:00

How Do I Do this Mom Thing? is a good article focusing on the importance of mentoring, particularly addressing this kind of relationship for young mothers who 'want to be like that older, experienced mother'. There are practical ideas for how to go about finding a mentor and the kinds of things that would be important in such a relationship. So if you're interested in finding a mentor, or have a vision for starting this kind of ministry in the church, this article is a good, easy place to start on how to establish mentorship among younger and older women.

Road Trip

2008-07-08T08:29:00.003+01:00

We are preparing for a short break in London next week. We're driving from Edinburgh to London with three kids under 4 for 8 hours. So when I saw this it brought a smile to my face as we think about how our trip might be!

Knowing Sin & Wrath

2008-07-03T10:49:00.005+01:00

After listening to one of Piper's sermons on Romans, he reminded me of something my husband said of a man who did not want to come to church week after week and listen to the doom and gloom of our recent Jeremiah series. Piper would encourage us to respond to such a person and remind us of the importance of such preaching of God's judgment, sin and wrath in three ways.

1. Superficial diagnoses lead to false remedies.

Superficial diagnoses lead to false remedies and no cures. If you want to find true remedies for a disease, and if you want to bring a lasting cure to the people who are diseased, then you need more than a superficial grasp of the disease itself. Those who care most about a cure for AIDS or cancer, spend almost all their time studying the disease.

2. Understanding sin and wrath will make you wiser.

Profound understanding of sin and wrath will make you a far wiser person about human nature - your own and others. And if you are wiser about the nature of the human soul, you will be able to fight your own sin more successfully, and you will be able to bless others more deeply with your insight and counsel. I have pled with women and men in this church in recent months that what we need to nurture and cultivate here at Bethlehem over the next decades is sages -men and women who ripen with years into deeply sagacious people: wise, discerning, penetrating, deep lovers of people and deep knowers of human nature and God's nature, who can see deeply into the tangle of sin and sacredness that perplexes the saints and threatens to undo us. If you run away from the study of sinful human nature - if you say, I don't like to think about sin - then you run away from yourself, and you run away from wisdom, and, worst of all, you run away from the deepest kinds of love.

3. Knowing the nature of sin and wrath will cause you to cherish the gospel.

Probably the most important thing I would say, and the most firmly rooted in Romans 1:18, is that knowing the true condition of your heart and the nature of sin and the magnitude and justice of the wrath of God will cause you to understand the mighty gospel, and love it, and cherish it, and feast on it, and share it as never before. And this is crucial because this is the way the gospel saves believers. If you don't understand the gospel, if you don't cherish it and look to it and feed on it day after day, it won't save you (see 1 Cor. 15:1-3; Col. 1:23). Knowing sin and wrath will help you do that.

A Noble Wife, One Has Found

2008-06-27T13:46:00.008+01:00

(This is a guest post, posted without my wife's permission. Colin Adams.)

I am functionally orientated. In simple terms, that means I am usually so busy ‘doing the next task’ I forget to pause and appreciate precious relationships. Earlier today I was reading the latest raft of 9marks articles on the subject of marriage. It was a sobering reminder (not least the 30 ways for pastor’s to love their families article!) of my inept failures in ministering to my family.

I’m grateful to God that the same isn’t true of my wife. Nicki, your ministry to me is abundant and rich, consistent and caring. From my observations, here are thirty ways you love your family.

1. You always put your family first: before your needs, wants and concerns.
2. You love simply spending time with your family. You hate the notion of not being together when you could be.
3. You somehow keep a house immaculately clean despite three messy children and an only marginally cleaner husband.
4. You patiently take care of all the needs of our children 9 to 5 (feeding, washing, changing, disciplining, teaching, travelling etc). I struggle to do a good job from 5 till 7.
5. You spend countless evenings in alone, when I’m out at yet another meeting.
6. You then put up with it, when returning late ‘I’m too tired to talk about it.’
7. You regularly tell all of us you love us.
8. You are the most organised person I know when it comes to planning for birthday’s, anniversaries and other celebrations. Months ahead! You never miss a special ocassion.
9. You’re never beyond a bit of humour. A practical joke, a silly game, a friendly poke of fun at children or daddy.
10. You buy me favourite foods, even though you don’t like them.
11. You listen to biblical, passionate and profound messages from John Piper (just now from Romans) and each day when I get home, tell me about them!
12. You’re always more interested in talking about my day than yours.
13. You practice hospitality several times a week, and in welcoming other people into your home, bless the children by the exposure.
14. You are firm and consistent with your discipline of the children: they know where they stand with you and love you for it.
15. You care about the children’s education - not least spiritually - and buy great books that we use at the t-table.
16. You forgive your children even on ‘one of those days’ when they seem chronically naughty, and forgive me when I’m not as a good a husband as you are a wife.
17. You put yourself out, often when you don’t have to and it completely inconveniences you (picking me up from town - daily?; running me to meetings early Sunday mornings…)
18. You follow my lead and prefer it that way.
19. You go into the children’s bedrooms last thing at night, tucking the three children into bed - and never go to sleep comfortably until they are.
20. You read books on biblical womanhood, motherhood and marriage, and seek to apply their principles. With evident effect.
21. You miss us - and tell us so - if you’re absence from us is ever enforced.
22. You have not been unknown to inform me in the morning that you had been up half the night with one of the sick children. You didn’t want my sleep disturbed too.
23. You love meeting with God’s church on Sunday’s and by this show us all the value of church. You’re desperately upset when you can’t get an ‘evening babysitter’, especially when I’m preaching.
24. You watch football (soccer!) with your husband, instead of something preferable, because you know I like it.
25. You sometimes arrange datenights for us, including the babysitters, when if I were being diligent it would always be my job.
26. You buy your husband surprise gifts to encourage me (though I think, perhaps, “Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor” was also designed to bring me down a peg or two!)
27. You leave me little ‘love’ notes in packed lunch boxes, clothes items, and on my computer screen at the office.
28. You happily listen to me preach sermons: several times at home, and then in the pulpit.
29. You are my best sermon critic. On the one hand, you are sensitive enough not to ‘kick me when I’m down’. On the other, you are loving enough to ‘keep my feet on the ground.’
30. You ‘make out’ that everyone else is ‘the best bit’ about the family, when you are.

The Godly Man's Picture

2008-06-17T22:20:00.005+01:00

Some advice was given to me recently from a very wise and godly pastor; ‘Don’t rush through the puritan classics...less is more when it comes to reading and fully understanding doctrine that will nourish and transform your soul.’

With this in mind, and perhaps also due to the busy demands of everyday life, I’ve moved quite slowly through ‘The Godly Man’s Picture.’ At the outset, Thomas Watson poignantly reminds the reader that,

The soul being so precious, and salvation so glorious, it is the highest point of prudence to make preparations for another world.

The remainder of the book outlines the characteristics of godliness, fully expectant that the godly man (in the generic sense) will be one who is patient, thankful, zealous, sincere, but to name a few of the chapter titles. However God’s grace and ever-present help is referred to often and encourages the believer to continue in perseverance. Many regard Watson as the most readable of the Puritans; his questioning approach serves to aid the reader by providing opportunity for reflection and personal response. I found the most challenging section of the book to be entitled: ‘A godly man prizes Christ.’ Not only is the precious worth of Jesus affirmed again and again throughout this chapter, the challenge arises as to whether we really prize Christ at all.

If we are prizers of Christ:
1. We will prefer him in our judgments before other things
2. We cannot live without him
3. We shall not complain at any pains to get him
4. We take great pleasure in Him
5. We will part with our dearest pleasures for him
6. We shall think we cannot have him at too dear a rate
7. We will be willing to help others to get a part of him
8. We will prize him in health as well as sickness

Helpful explanations and illustrations support each section of this book with Scripture references woven throughout. This book really is one to be read and re-read and referred to along the way.

Promised Land

2008-06-17T11:28:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to alert you to a fabby new album once again from Lou Fellingham. You can listen to clips from the album here. The lyrics as well as the music are superb. It's well worth forking out on, either for yourself, or for someone else!

The Debt We Owe is the Gospel of Grace

2008-06-11T10:31:00.002+01:00

I'm beginning to daily wade my way through Piper's sermon series on Romans. The following quote is the nuts and bolts of today's message which exhorts us to share the gospel of grace not just with unbelievers, but within the body of Christ.

Grace came to us absolutely free and unconditional from God when he called us to himself and loved us as his own. This grace makes us debtors to everyone who, like us, needs grace, because not to share the grace we received would imply that we qualified for it and they don't; and that would nullify grace. And what we share is the gospel of this great free grace. This is how we pay our debt to others: freely we received, freely we give.

Hindrances to Self-control

2008-06-10T10:55:00.003+01:00

Over-eating? Gossiping? Spending money? Lustful thoughts? Anger? Lydia Brownback at The Purple Cellar posts about 5 things that prevent us from being more self-controlled in these areas, and more. I found this very helpful and would encourage you to visit her site and read more fully about the 5 hindrances below.

1. Competing desires
2. Wrong Motives
3. Failure to understand the destructive power of overindulgence
4. Failure to know ourselves
5. We think self-control should be easy because we are Christians.

Live & Die Well

2008-06-06T13:53:00.012+01:00

"Death makes visible where our treasure is. The way we die reveals the worth of Christ in our hearts. Christ is magnified in my death when I am satisfied with him in my dying - when I experience death as gain because I gain him. Or to say it another way: The essence of praising Christ is prizing Christ. Christ will be praised in my death, if in my death he is prized above life....If we learn to die like this, we will be ready to live. And if we don't, we will waste our lives."
John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

Planning for the Holidays

2008-05-24T14:59:00.002+01:00

CJ Mahaney plans for his vacation in a way that most of us would not think of. He says:

I thought it might be helpful if I passed along seven lessons I’ve learned over the years, in hopes that your family vacation will be a God-glorifying, grace-filled, relationship-building, memory-making time together.

Here's his 7 lessons of which you can read about the first 2 here.

1. A Servant Heart
2. A Tone-Setting Attitude
3. An Awareness of Indwelling Sin
4. Studying Your Family
5. Skillful Surprises
6. Intentionally Together
7. Gratefulness to God

Don't Waste Your Life - Don't become a Chamois!

2008-05-21T10:28:00.005+01:00

If you're thinking about, approaching, or in your retirement you should watch this clip. If you're not quite there yet (like me), ask ourself this question: how and what are you planning for your future?

Fear not men but let God be your fear

2008-05-18T16:31:00.006+01:00

The title is a quote from one of Samuel Rutherford's letters written to one of his parishioners in the mid 1600's. I don't know about you but I certainly still need to be reminded of this truth today in 2008. I've been reminded of it today in a couple of ways.

First, our pastor Peter Grainger continued our series in the book of Acts today with a sermon entitled "The First Megachurch". His third point dealt with the account of Ananias and Sapphira and the "great fear" of God that swept through the early church as a result of these events (Acts 5:11). Peter quoted from Richard Longnecker's commentary on Acts:

…while we may be thankful that judgement upon deceit in the church is not now so swift and drastic, the incident stands as an indelible warning regarding the heinousness in God’s sight of deception in spiritual and personal matters.

You can listen to the whole sermon here. As Peter was preaching, it occurred to me how often I don't fear God as I should, but instead spend far too much energy focussing on sinful fears based on material worries and anxieties about family or what others think of me. In his excellent book Running Scared, Ed Welch shows us that the antidote to the fears that cripple us is a proper fear of God:

If you really want to fight fear, learn to fear Someone who captures your attention in such a way that your other fears suddenly seem pedestrian and unimportant...Can you hear the echo of the Sermon on the Mount? After Jesus reasoned with us about our worries and anxieties, he gave us the premier anti-anxiety treatment: "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness" (Matt 6:33). You treat worries by pursuing what is even more important. Fear still reveals our allegiances, this time in a positive way. If we have a mature fear of the Lord, it means that we value and revere him above all else. That's how we fight fear with fear.

So by earnestly seeking to live in reverent fear of God, I counter the sinful fears that so often clog up my life and distract me from serving him as I should. Or to put it another way, when my life is full of worry and fear, it probably means that I am not fearing God as I should.

He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge (Proverbs 14:26)

Being Mindful as He is Mindful

2008-05-15T09:45:00.008+01:00

How would you live differently in your day if you were seeking to do all to the glory of God?

Some of my answers, in no particular order:

1. Think before I speak
2. Pray before I think
3. Be more thankful
4. Exercise self-control when disciplining
5. Show and tell my family more that I love them
6. Fearlessly speak about Jesus
7. Forgive quicker
8. Exercise more patience
9. Ask for his help
10. Depend on His grace
11. Eat better
12. Switch off filler-time TV

"Pray that God will make you more conscious of the fact that you live every day under His all-seeing eye. While you may not be mindful of Him, He is certainly aware of you and sees every deed you do, hears every word you say, and knows every thought you think. Beyond that, He even searches out your motives. Let us then seek to be as mindful of Him as He is of us." Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins

Magnifying God & Money

2008-05-09T06:00:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I asked how I might instill in my son a healthy understanding of money and spending and bring him up in such a way that he finds it more rewarding to give than to receive. Here are my thoughts on how we might magnify God when teaching our children about money.

1. Teach your children to love Christ more than anything else by loving Christ more than anything else.

2. Teach your children that every good thing comes from God and not because Daddy has a job.

3. Teach your children that Daddy has a job because God has given him a job.

4. Teach your children to be thankful for all that they have by being thankful for all that you have.

5. Continually thank God with your children for all that you have.

6. Continually thank God with your children for all that you do not have because Christ is better by far.

7. Pray with your children for those who do not have.

8. Give to those who do not have.

9. Teach your children to be good stewards by looking after property, clothes and toys.

10. Teach them not to worry about what they will eat or wear by trusting God for all that you need.

11. Don't spend what you do not have.

12. Share what you do have.

Anymore???

John Piper has a helpful sermon on Luke 12: 32-34, Magnifying God with Money.

32 Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Here are his main points from the sermon:

1. Do not fear when it comes to money & things

2. Have an impulse toward simplicity rather than accumulation

3. Maximise your treasure in Heaven, not on earth

4. Your heart moves toward what you cherish

Teaching Kids about Money

2008-05-08T11:30:00.004+01:00

I'm not sure about any of your experiences with kids and money but this is an area that I have given scant thought to. However, last week I found myself confronted with this issue and it has forced me to think about how I should teach my kids about money and spending. I decided to take my 4 year old on a shopping trip, just the two of us (without the girls) and hoped that we could spend (pardon the pun) some mummy and son time together getting in the groceries for the week and picking out a few other clothing items since Scotland is at last seeing some sunshine.

My son was excited at the prospect of getting pretty much undivided time with his mum and decided to make the most of it! It is not an exaggeration to say that every 2 minutes we spent in the shop my son would exclaim: 'Can I have this?' Normally this is reserved until we get to that dreaded part in the store where there are a few shelves of toys and books. But this time it was every aisle! He wanted specific kinds of yoghurts, fruit, crisps, sweets, drinks and even when we got to the clothes section he had a paddy (tantrum) when I declined to buy him the new pair of pj's he wanted with the picture of the sports car. I've never experienced anything like it. All of a sudden my son has turned into a shoppaholic and no amount of 'we don't have any money to buy that' or 'you'll need to save up some pennies for that' or 'perhaps this is something that you can get for your birthday' did not cut it with him. So, my big question is: how can I instill in my son a healthy understanding of money and spending and bring up a boy who is more concerned to give than receive?

I have a few ideas. Crosswalk also have their 10 Tips for Teaching Kids about Money. Any more suggestions?

Single in Christ

2008-05-02T13:12:00.003+01:00

Continuing our discussion on singleness, John Piper preached this sermon last week which I have found challenging as someone who is married with children. There are many times when I find myself idolizing my marriage and family life. I needed to be reminded once again that these things are temporary and that my relationship with Christ defines the value of my life. To be in Christ is to have God's best, it is not his gift of a husband and children.

The following is an excerpt from the sermon of which I encourage you, whether single or married, to listen to and gain wisdom.

My main point is that God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children, and he calls you to display, by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness, the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage and childrearing. The truths, namely,
That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;¹
That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case);
That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
That faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

To say the main point more briefly: God promises spectacular blessings to those of you who remain single in Christ, and he gives you an extraordinary calling for your life. To be single in Christ is, therefore, not a falling short of God’s best, but a path of Christ-exalting, covenant-keeping obedience that many are called to walk.

If you don't have time to listen to all the sermon, here's a 5 minute excerpt:

How to Minister to Single Women

2008-04-29T10:10:00.004+01:00

I'm dipping in and out of Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish's book, Women Helping Women: A Biblical Guide to the Major Issues Women Face. It's a tome of superb advice and I'm appreciating the learning. One of the chapters I was keen to read first was on women and their singleness. As someone who struggled with my own singleness before I got married, I'm very keen to learn how I can encourage single women in my church. Fitzpatrick & Cornish have a few ideas, so if you are a married person and want to know how practically you can minister to the single ladies in your church here are 10 of their top tips.

1. Be a mentor

2. Adopt a single woman

3. Offer to be available to help in case a problem arises

4. Pick a single woman to encourage

5. Choose friends of all ages and positions in life, including single women

6. Ask a gody single woman to become involved with your teenagers (or in my case, my babies!)

7. Choose a single woman to pray for throughout the week

8. Offer to host dinners or other social events for the singles in your church

9. Start a single woman's group to study the biblical view of singleness

10. Help a woman build godly brother/sister relationships

If you have any other helpful tips on how you minister to single women, or if you are single and can offer some insight I'd appreciate the wisdom.

Contentment at Home or Away

2008-04-23T19:37:00.007+01:00

Being apart for the gospel is something that God is graciously using to teach me a lot about my sinful self and my need of Him these days. I'm continually challenged in my attitude and actions when my husband requires an extra evening to work or takes a few days away on a ministry trip. For some this might not seem like too much of a sacrifice, but for my husband and I, we have always worked closely together and rarely been apart - we met at bible college and studied together while dating and on into our first two years of marriage. Being apart is relatively new for both of us. To go from being in each others pockets (and loving it) to spending more time apart than together was not something we really prepared for. It was not something we gave any thought to.

Therefore, I'm always on the lookout for some helpful advice and godly examples to whom I can turn and be encouraged. I have this little book which I pick up from time to time which provides me with encouragement from God's Word and reassurance from ministry wives who have been there. Lisa Ryken has a short thought on being content whether your husband is at home or away. Readign words such as these not only bring rebuke, but comfort knowing that even the godliest women we know have been there. She writes:

My mother, a very godly woman, gave me wonderful advice when she said, "be content when he is at home and be content when he is away." This is an echo of Paul's exhortation in Philippians 4:11 to be content "whatever the circumstances." It's easy to become resentful and angry and then bitter with your husband - and with God - because of his work. When he has to make a hospital call or conduct an unexpected funeral, or when his sermon preparation takes longer than usual, do I respond with cheerful contentment or with grudging tolerance? One of my jobs as my husband's helper is to encourage him in his work.

What do I say to our children when they ask, "Where's Daddy?" My attitude usually determines how my children respond. If I'm angry about my husband's Saturday morning meeting, then my children are sure to be angry that Daddy can't be home to play with them. To be a godly mother and role model I need to respond to my children cheerfully. Instead of getting upset that my husband needs to go back to the office, I must pray that his work will be productive and joyful. This helps me to be content, to have a godly attitude, and to love my husband and his work.

Courage under adversity

2008-04-20T14:48:00.004+01:00

As you will know if you read this blog, from time to time we look to women from the past to see what we can learn from their example. I've recently been reading a book written in 1884 (I do read modern books too!) called Annals of the Disruption. This is a detailed account of the Disruption of the Church of Scotland which occured in 1843 and resulted in the formation of the Free Church of Scotland. You can find out more about this here, but briefly summarised, the Disruption was the breaking away of a group of ministers from the established Church of Scotland. The reasons for this were centred around the headship of the church, with those breaking away fighting for Christ to be given his true place at the head of the church.

Breaking from the established Church of Scotland had great consequences for those ministers involved as they forfeited their salaries, church buildings and the manses they lived in. One minister's wife from the time, Mrs Parker of Lesmahagow wrote of the difficulties faced by the ministers' families, and her own situation:

So far as I can judge,...the Church in her present struggles is doing no more than her duty to her great Head;...No one values more than I do my present comforts, and few are less qualified for making sacrifices and enduring hardships, and sometimes my very heart is sore when I look at my dear children; but I trust that God in His providence may prepare a place for us - a sphere of duty where my dearest husband may exercise those gifts with which God has endowed him.

Although our circumstances are probably not so dramatic today, still God can call us out of comfort and into hardship. I pray that, like Mrs Parker, we can trust our future to God's guiding hand, where ever he may lead.

Radical Heavenly Mindedness!

2008-04-18T13:36:00.002+01:00

Over the past week I've been keeping an eye on the various talks given at the Together for the Gospel Conference. While ironing yesterday I listened to John Piper's address: How the Supremacy of Christ Creates Radical Christian Sacrifice.

As usual, Piper really messes with your soul in this talk, stripping back all that we hold dear in this life and challenging us to live risk-taking sacrificial lives for Christ. Speaking from various texts in Hebrews, Piper looks at why the early Christians joyfully accepted the plundering of their property as they risked visiting their brothers and sisters in prison. He asks: "What created this lifestyle of risk by visiting other Christians in prison?" He answers: "It was their amazing emotional persuasion that what they were about to inherit in the great reward was so superior in its value that it made the loss of their present possessions as nothing to them... they knew they had an abiding possession - it was profound heavenly mindedness concerning the infinite value of this great reward."

I believe he was exactly right when he went on to challenge those of us who have bought into the argument that to be so heavenly minded means that we are no earthly good. For these early believers, their focus was on the great reward, they were so heavenly minded that their witness was of supreme good on earth. To be radically heavenly minded means we are truly free from this world. We don't care about taking risks for Christ. We gladly sacrifice all that we have for his glory.

There was so much in this talk! I haven't even begun to relay Piper's exposition of the "great reward" - for this you need to take time to listen here!

Apart for the Gospel

2008-04-16T18:57:00.005+01:00

Perhaps many of you will resonate with this article when your spouse has the opportunity to attend a Christian conference, or even his pastoral work takes him away from home for a few days. Often, in my own experience I struggle when my husband heads off for the weekend with work, or takes some time away to attend a pastor's retreat or conference. I pretty much, all of the time, get quite negative, withdraw into myself and begin to feel the weight of being home with three kids on my own.

Although I know that my husband and others are profiting immensely from their time away, sadly I'm not focused on seeing this as a time of potential for gospel living and growing while we're apart. Unfortunately I'll all too often find myself battling resentment, that yet again it's not my chance to get away. Apart for the Gospel reminded me that in times like these, this is my opportunity to show forth the gospel in a unique way.

HT: Girltalk

For the Love of God

2008-04-14T09:30:00.005+01:00

Recently we've been learning a couple of new songs at church written by Don Carson and set to music by Rob Smith. Lyrically, as well as musically, I thoroughly enjoyed both pieces and decided to buy for my husband (and friend) the CD for their respective birthdays.

Both my husband and I are thoroughly enjoying For the Love of God - New Songs for the People of God Volume Two. We especially appreciate Carson's lyrics which are theologically solid and saturated with Scripture. Moreover, the songs are particularly written for use in church and would certainly enhance any congregational worship in my estimation. So, if you, or your church music leaders are interested in learning a few new songs, full of meaning and easy for the congregation to sing to, this CD is well worth purchasing.

You can go here to order the CD and here to have a sneaky listen to first! Personally, my favourites are For the Love of God, Pour Out Your Grace, Astounding Grace & On that Wretched Day.

From the Valley of Vision

2008-04-13T16:10:00.004+01:00

Thou art my good in times of peace,
my only support in days of trouble,
my one sufficiency when life shall end.
Help me to see how good thy will is in all,
and even when it crosses mine
teach me to be pleased with it.
Grant me to feel thee in fire, and food and every providence,
and to see that thy many gifts and creatures
are but thy hands and fingers taking hold of me.

From "The All-good", Valley of Vision

Provoking Our Children

2008-04-10T08:28:00.004+01:00

I found this post over at Pulpit Magazine interesting. It explores Paul's command in Ephesians 6:4, "do not provoke your children." As MacArthur says;

To “provoke . . . to anger” suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.

He then goes on to list 8 ways in which we can provoke our children. I'll list them briefly, but do go to the article to read further.

1. Overprotection
2. Favouritism
3. Pushing for achievement
4. Discouragment
5. Failing to sacrifice for your children
6. Failing to let children grow up at their own pace
7. Using love as a tool of reward or punishment
8. Physical and verbal abuse

Guidelines for Dating

2008-04-09T16:10:00.004+01:00

Lydia at the Purple Cellar shares some guidlines for dating taken and paraphrased from Rick and Sharon Phillips' book, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating.

Here's the list for girls:

1) A godly woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she puts him at east and encourages him as opportunities arise.

2) A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend in his presence and absence.

3) A godly woman should give honest attention to his interests.

4) A godly woman should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle and will avoid potentially compromising situations.

5) A godly woman will build up the man with God's Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.

6) A godly woman will make "helping" and "respecting" the watchwords of her behavior toward a man.

7). A godly woman will remember that the man is her brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy relationship but should seek to do so with charity and grace.

And for guys:

1) Commit to take the lead in the godliness of your relationship.
2) Decide before starting the relationship if you are willing to love a woman in the self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes.
3) Seek out her interests and spend time doing them with her.
4) Be willing to talk about the relationship. In fact, be the one to initiate honest dialog about it.
5) Pay attention to the cares and burdens of her heart. Be supportive rather than critical.
6) Do not be shy in ministering the Word to her. Do not preach, but exhort.
7) If something about her bothers you, seek to encourage her in that
area.

Holiday Breaks?

2008-04-08T09:56:00.011+01:00

I'm just back from enjoying a week's break with the family and friends up in the north of Scotland. It's our first holiday away for over a year (due to Grace's birth and a house move) and so we were well overdue some getaway time. Our time away was enhanced by good company, great conversation, beautiful scenery, marvellous food and some gorgeous walks to compensate for the amount of marvellous food we consumed. Despite all of us enduring a tummy and sick bug, we had a well worthwhile break.

My husband and I tend to do alot of thinking and processing of 'stuff' when we're away together, and like him, my experience of going away on holiday can be a challenging time also. Despite benefitting from being away, there are times when I feel that holidays don't do for me what they should. Colin jotted down a few thoughts on why a Pastor struggles to relax on holiday, but here are a few things which, as a wife and mother of 3, I find myself battling against. Do any of these things resonate with you? If so, what do you do to overcome them?

1. The pre-holiday washing, ironing and packing of clothes as well as organinsing the other 101 things you need to take with you can not only be very draining but stresses me out no end and makes me horribly irritable.

2. On the way there is a sense of relief and anticipation, though regret at the state in which you left the house and the things that you forgot to bring.

3. The need to bring structure (because that's how it is) to what should be an easy-going unstructured time away.

4. Continuing with the mundane tasks of feeding, bathing, cleaning up after the children and generally feeling that you aren't really getting a break at all.

5. Frustrated with knowing that your husband is also struggling to relax.

6. Frustrated that the kid's behaviour is worse than usual.

7. Frustrated that someone, if not more than one, fall ill.

8. Wondering what's happening back at home with church, family and friends.

9. Dreading the holiday ending, knowing that your husband will be going back to work.

10. Feeling the need to get back to normal and almost wishing you were back home.

11. Dreading going home to the pigsty that you left.

12. The prospect of a suitcase load of washing and ironing.

13. Coming home just as tired as you left.

I would add, that on this holiday we stayed with friends who more than helped with entertaining the kids, cooking and washing. In addition, my parents popped round to our house while we were away and did some necessary cleaning for us - a great surprise when we arrived home!

Lime Cream Pie

2008-04-01T21:38:00.003+01:00

As we are thinking about hospitality, here is a recipe for a very easy and extremely yummy dessert (although don't count up the calories!). My mother-in-law makes this and she got the recipe from one of her friends so I don't know who the original source is. I usually make it the evening before we have someone over for lunch or dinner.

Lime Cream Pie

Base 8oz crushed ginger biscuits.
3oz melted butter.

Filling 1 can full cream condensed milk (400g).
200g full fat soft cream cheese ( Philadelphia or the like)
150ml half fat crème fraiche
3 juicy limes - grated zest and juice.

For the base, mix together the biscuits and butter and press into greased flan dish. Chill well.
Beat together the condensed milk and cream cheese until smooth ( I use an electric whisk).
Add the lime zest and juice. Fold in the crème fraiche. Pour over the base and chill overnight.
Decorate with grated chocolate.

The filling freezes well, but the base is best made not more than 24hrs beforehand.

As Good as Guests

2008-03-29T07:23:00.008Z

Yesterday we considered how we often tend to think about hospitality beginning with those outside our homes rather than starting with our own families. I was really challenged by this and as I began to read on, the authors of Practicing Hospitality have some good suggestions on how we can practice good hospitality with our families.

At this stage in our family life, my kids enjoy having people around to our house for lunch, dinner or just a general get-together on a weekend. However, this is something that I never want to take for granted with my kids. I recognise that there may come a day (and I remember those days when I was young and at home) when this might not be the case. One thing I want to work hard to prevent is any form of resentment, or feelings of "second best" in the lives of my children. This book offers some sound wisdom on this issue and encourages me to treat my family "as good as guests", if not better than.

Often we treat our guests better than our family. Establishing the habit of treating our family as we would a guest will assist us in communicating our love to our family. Extending hospitality to our family allows them to reap the same blessings our guests receive in our home. Also, we are modeling for our children how to honour guests - they learn from our example. Treating our family as guests also reinforces the concept of family first.

Ennis & Tatlock then go on to offer 6 ways in which we can achieve this:

1. Prepare their favourite foods.
2. Set the table.
3. Check your appearance!
4. Create a warm atmosphere
5. Screen your phone calls.
6. Plan special events.

These six things have become second nature for me when it comes to being hospitable with those outside my home. However, I must confess that I am far from making these a priority when it comes to my husband and children. I'm left humbled thinking about the last time I made my husband and son my home cooked lasagna (their favourite), or the last time we went beyond the mere knife & fork and kid plates at dinner time. Or what about taking time to brush my hair and change that top that the baby spat up on before my husband gets home?

I can't even remember the last time I bothered to light a candle when sitting down for a meal - and hey, the kids always think that's fun because they get to blow it out at the end! And how many times am I quick to jump up and answer the phone, and proceed to engage in a conversation with someone other than my family? I must confess, I'm alright at planning special events, yet even at that it's only limited to a birthday, anniversary or some holiday celebration. Wouldn't it be fun to plan a special fun dinner just for no other reason than to see the joy and excitement on the the faces of my kids?

If I love my family more than any other, I must treat them better, if not as good as any other.

Hospitality & Family

2008-03-28T07:04:00.009Z

I'm reading Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others at the moment. It's full of gems and insight. Here's a few words that have challenged me.

While the ministry of hospitality often focuses on those outside our home, it should begin within our home. If this occurs, generosity and kindness extended to others become an extension of our family hospitality...

If the Lord has given us a family, extending hospitality to our family is our first priority.. Hospitality towards others then becomes a natural ouworking or extension of what we are already practicing within our own homes.

Why is this important? The authors, Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock explain:

For the sake of our integrity. Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can result in violating our God-given priorities-loving our husbands and children....To model hospitality to the world and neglect to practice it in our own home is hypocrisy, and our integrity is compromised.
For the sake of our children. Neglecting to include our children in hospitality opportunities might create resentment in them. If our children feel unloved, abandoned, or ignored while we diligently extend hospitality to friends and strangers, we have opened the door for developing bitterness and animosity toward hospitality in our children...How tragic for our children to loathe hospitality because they have felt a lack of care while we ministered to others.
For the sake of the gospel. Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can discredit our witness....The manner in which we serve and love our family should reflect the transforming power of the gospel in our own life.

Brush up on your Old Testament history

2008-03-26T09:14:00.000Z

I've recently finished listening to a series of 36 lectures on Old Testament history which are available free for download from the Covenant Theological Seminary website. The are given by Dr. V. Philips Long, former professor at Covenant Theological Seminary and I highly recommend them. I found them very easy to listen to and they really helped me put many of the events of the Old Testament into the correct biblical context. Also, the lectures have a very pastoral style and are full of challenging application. Definitely worth a listen! You could also check out the other material available for download from the seminary.